callmeanonymous - 7

I had a bad thought today, chewed skin from palm, sinned myself raw

I watched the razor blade too closely, ran my hand across a flame, let the pill sit on tongue, and it’s bitter, but I swallow, and when I look at the ceiling I see a noose, pale skin in the tub, blue veins on the pillows

I had a bad thought today, chewed skin from palm, sinned myself raw

I turned my head into you whispering, let it tickle my ear, remembered I said fuck fuck fuck and then your name, and it’s warm, and it’s wet

I had a bad thought today, chewed skin from palm, sinned myself raw

I saw the way she cut her hair, pulled at a curl, laughed that she’s always a few steps behind me, took the shears to my ends

I had a bad thought today, chewed skin from palm, sinned myself raw

I knelt on tile floors, wept the way I wanted my mouth to, nuzzled the back of my throat, I hold it down, watch the way I fill, think how I’m never full

I had a bad thought today, chewed skin from palm, sinned myself raw, sinned myself raw