Separation
I didn’t know what I had until I lost it. How could I? I had known nothing else. There was nothing else to know! I was living in paradise, but to me, it was just life. If I had known how hard life could be, maybe I wouldn’t have made the choice that I did.
I had never even looked at that tree before the snake asked me about it. Adam told me about it, of course, and explained what God had said about it, but we wanted for nothing. Why would I try the fruit from that tree when I had as much as I could want from any other? Especially when it meant I would risk death. At the time, I didn’t even know what death was, but I was sure it wasn’t a good thing.
But then the snake came. I didn’t listen to him at first. He insisted that the only reason God didn’t want us to eat the fruit was that it would make us like Him. It felt wrong to think of God that way. God isn’t selfish. He’s given us life and everything we could ever want! Even if He was holding this one thing back from us, it was likely for the best. He always had our best interests at heart.
I argued with the snake, described God’s goodness and love, but the more we argued, the more I began to see his point of view. He claimed that eating the fruit would make me like God. I didn’t want to believe it, but it made sense. Why else would God forbid this one thing? And to be like God! That couldn’t be a bad thing, could it? To be wise and powerful!
And so I took it. I picked the fruit from the tree. At the snake’s recommendation, I took some for Adam, too. After all, I couldn’t leave him in the dark. If I was to become wise, I didn’t want to leave him behind.
Together, we ate. It was the sweetest thing I had ever eaten, but the taste quickly became bitter. It was as if the entire world became darker. Before I ate the fruit, there had been only goodness and happiness and love. But now, there was a possibility of evil, of hate and selfishness and jealousy.
It was such a simple thing – one moment, one choice – but that choice changed our lives. I discovered how easy our lives had been, now that we had to work for our food and shelter, now that we had to live with pain and sadness. There was happiness, too, and moments of true joy. Our lives became a balancing act; sometimes the good outweighed the bad, but sometimes the bad overshadowed the good.
And yet, through all the changes we faced, all the things we lost, there was only one thing that I truly missed – being in His presence. The perfection of the garden wasn’t in the trees or animals or even in ourselves; it was in Him. He made the place perfect, and now we are separated from Him.
Every now and then, I think I can feel Him. I get a glimpse of Him in Adam’s smile or the bright blue sky. I hear him in my children’s laughter and feel him in the gentle breeze that brushes my cheek.
Before I bit into that fruit, I knew nothing of the harshness and cruelty that was possible. But now, I have lived it, and I know that when I am finally fully in His presence again, I will cherish it because I have known separation.