Be careful What you Wish For
I am the place of your creation, and the coffin in which you rest until you are wrung from my body in a mass of blood, pain, and ended possibilities. You represent both my favourite ‘what ifs’ and the end to my innocence. You have forever placed your mark in my heart and on my body. You have brought me the greatest joy, and the greatest pain. A study in contradictions. For I am part of no world. I am alone in a sea of others who belong. I am not a mum of living children, but of angels.
There is a reason you did not live, and I ignored this to my detriment. In my anguish, I beseeched any higher power to allow me to bare children. It was such a small thing, women did it all the time. Announced their pregnancy and magically gave birth nine months later to a live baby. Why could this power not grant me this gift?
The problem with wishing is that when something is given, something must be taken away.
My very DNA was altered, my womb repaired, my embryo implanted. I was ecstatic, elated, in love. The future was happening... but something was wrong. I grew monstrously huge. The being inside me was a parasite, eating its way to the outside through my womb. I was both the oven and the gingerbread house to this being... except this Hansel or Gretel was evil- bloated with my blood and hope. We must learn to live with injustice and be careful what we wish for. I wanted a baby, but I got a demon.