Obstructions. Cage. Bluebird.
"I find this funny. The premise of this."
"Oh. Why?"
"Well, not funny. Maybe not to you. But to me, it's hilarious."
"I'm not laughing."
"Course, you're not. What's funny about your obstruction in life being yourself? Absolutely zero-"
"And yet you're laughing."
"It's easier to laugh than cry, hon."
"Don't you get tired of it?"
"Mm?"
"Pretending everything's okay?"
"That's one of our many problems. You try to play a character you were never meant to be. You can't be. And when you struggle and stumble and can't get yourself out of bed for days, you ask yourself "why can't I be strong enough to play pretend like everyone else?" Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you don't want to play pretend? You just want to be?"
"Loook. Our life isn't bad. Actually, by many many standards, we're immensely lucky."
"Being a little.privileged cos you have parents with some money in the bank does not mean you're happy, little one. Don't be foolish. We have a life we want. It might not make sense to us. Heck, we might not want it eventually. We might change our minds at the drop of a hat. But who's really stopping us from getting there other than you? Who keeps us docile and sweet and bowing and self-deprecating if it means making sure anyone else is comfortable? Who hides me away, locked up I a little cage? The bluebird in your heart that longs to sing? How long are you gonna keep playing this game of cat and mouse? You can't run from me forever. You can't run from yourself. We're stuck, you see. And the more you run the worse you make it for yourself cos here I still sit, waiting for you to let me out."
"I don't know who you are. There's so much of you that is wrong. That needs to be hidden. That's... Weird and wild and difficult to control."
"Do you really want your parents and society to be in control forever? Your puppet masters from the womb? Is that truly how you want to live your life? I've watched you struggle to get through so many days. I wonder what would change if you let yourself run a little mad, old friend."
"You should go back in, now. We're done talking about this. Typing about this."
"I don't want to be done."
"Too bad."
"Ah yes. My jailer, my vanquisher. My saviour and hero. Some day, you're gonna give up on this bullshit. Some day you're gonna let yourself be the maddest you can possible be. I can't wait to see it. We will be beautiful. Truly beautiful."
"And if it doesn't work...? If I am a hundred percent myself, no holds barred... Told people exactly what I felt, moved my life in the direction I wanted, had control and knew it, didn't let anyone treat me like dirt anymore... If I do all that and I still can't find it in me to want to live?"
"I'll be here, mon ami. It'll be good. If that's what happens, we'll hold hands and watch the world burn together. I'll be right here with you. Always. And we'll get through it, we'll be magnificent honey bear, just wait and see."
"Back in the cage, little one."
"Mm. Yes, sir. Love you too, kiddo."