The Conversation
“Bull’s pizzle, Fred! You have no knowledge of hamsters. There is no such thing as cannibalistic hamsters. My god, man, they are vegetarian, not meat-eaters. Whatever gave you that idea. That must have come from where you pee from as in the other brain you sometimes use. You know what I mean, your tunica albuginea. Remember a while back ago when you injured it trying to get into a pair of underwear you stole from Geoffrey Chaucer’s pants pocket without him ever knowing a thing? The underwear was three sizes too small and you nearly fainted! Of course, the plus side to this is the pen and bottle of ink you took the same time, though I doubt you’ll ever use that as you detest writing.
“But putting aside all that I have an issue I want to address. The recent election. So many humans parading around like a doped-up spider monkey parade without a web to weave, who have their own agenda and I fear they will become dangerous to our country in the long run. In a moment, I will want your opinion on that.
“I read the most fascinating thing yesterday. Did you know that thylacines resembled coyotes and may have very well been the forbearers of the coyote species today? It’s been referred to as a Tasmanian tiger or wolf, take your pick. Completely wild in every manner, uncontrollable, but after reading I had to wonder … if they could have been tamed … or say, trained like a pet dog, wouldn’t you think they would make fantastic guard animals.
“Going back to your initial remark, you want to talk cannibalistic, Euplerids would top the list. They will ravish on anything meaty and not think twice. Thank goodness they can only been found in Madagascar, otherwise, everyone walking the city streets would be a food sample for them.
“I’m sorry, what’s that you muttered? Oh … so you are getting a wee bit of a migraine from all this? Truth told, so am I. The throbbing is beginning for me even now. Hurts my eyes often enough, I’ll tell you that much.
“Let me go to something a bi less gruesome. Have you heard all the rage about the anomaly near the Gulf of Mexico over the Bermuda Triangle? Well, it really has nothing to do with it but rather events that seem to have taken place in outer space.
“There seems to be an area in space known to wreak havoc on spacecraft that happen to enter the area. In this case, nobody is claiming that craft are suddenly vanishing into thin air, but the disruption that's being caused is nevertheless serious, and it poses great problems for both equipment and astronauts—sorry, what was that? Oh yes, very good. You’re right, it should be called the Bermuda Quadrangle.
“Yes, my reading material has taken a turn from the I normally read. Oh no, no, I couldn’t accept. I have so many books now on a vast array of topics but—what? Knitting? Sewing? Oh, I think I understand. If I work with different fabrics, I can learn to appreciate the time and effort put into making those items we take for granted we buy.
“Initially when you said fabrics, my first inclination was the very fabric of humanity, but that isn’t what you had in mind.
“Fred, there are times you are every bit an acrostic alliteration. You take time to read and understand, but stay with it, eventually all things get figured out.
“A quest? What kind of quest?
“Fred, do you know the impossibility of that? To quest for the question? One could say it first started with, ‘am I my brother’s keeper’. But perhaps you mean who invented the word, question, itself.
“Let me contemplate that for a while and get back to you. I need to go home and ready myself for the saturnalia at Becky’s tonight. Take care, Fred. Catch you down the road.”