Palliative Love - page 1
The only reason I keep breathing, doesn't need me anymore. When we met - he and I were both pretenders, with our heads in the clouds and our hands intertwined, we'd allow ourselves to be consumed by empty promises and fantasies just to make living more bearable. Except, he doesn't have to pretend anymore, not the way I do. All this time, while I've been attacked by the waves, only the string of my imagination keeping me from drowning, he's been fighting against the current. He's been following the string to calm waters.
My legs are too tired, but he refuses to resurface without me. His hand is stretched out towards mine, the water is too murky for me to see his face, the promise of safety in his arms is the only reason I don't let go of my last breath. He doesn't need me, I'm only stopping him from reaching what he has always longed for, the light. The weave of my thread is slowly unraveling with tension.
"Hey, my name is Felix, and you are?" It was the summer when we met. The walls of our prison seemed to be impossible to escape, neither of us imagined we would get through the season. I was lying between the sandpaper sheets of the hospital bed I was confined to. The intruder, who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders all with a cosmic smile was leaning against the door frame, chained to his IV. He was different from me, I knew it from the moment our eyes met; his gleamed with hope and mine were dulled from the medication.
"I'm Freya." I sat up slightly, I don't know if he could tell, but I pitied him - more than I pitied myself. People like him deserve to live, by the looks of it I thought he wouldn't. "Aren't you supposed to be eating lunch?" I looked at my own lunch tray, left untouched on the tray table. He raised an apple.
"I thought we could have dessert together, maybe?" He seemed so full of life, it's hard not to get captivated by his ludicrous hope. That first day, he sat on the edge of my bed, munching away as if he was eating the fruit of life. Doing his best to lure me towards the unidentifiable blob on my plate. And that's how we began our summer together.