Security and Freedom
Attempts and setbacks. Childhood is rough, in the sense that we have to learn that learn isn't always about being right or getting what we want. Honestly, most of us adults struggle with control or lack of it to this day. Life ticks forward. What is guaranteed tomorrow is a new day. A new opportunity. One job, one relationship may be but a season. Heartbreak, grief, longing shall all come in full force then to manageable, livable. Our character comes from in our reactions and our learning from our trials. We seek a balance of freedom and security. We want the fun job but maybe not the salary, so we play it safe. We need the good health insurance so we settle. Or opposite, we run to danger simply for the fear and avoidance of responsibility. It's human to want, to need both. It is a struggle in tandem with the season.
For me, I seek the thrill of feeling alive. Vacations, skydiving, and weekends trail running. At the same time, I stay in a job that is only somewhat meaningful because it keeps me at a lifestyle I am used to. Relationally, I chose a partner who I could see a future with but a million and one things could affect what that future may be.
To me, the answer is try to practice gratitude for what I do have and the chances I have been given. Seasons of life, seasons of change and growth.