Never A Good Way to Say Goodbye
When I stop to think all those times where I would hover over your headstone at Cemetery Hill, I seem at a loss for what to say. What I consider something easy causes me to glower and reverse all thought.
I wish I could expand on these emotions, but it is difficult to reveal what is lost in thought. We never could meet eye to eye on many things and at the rate things went, the love I had for you, you never could accept. Like a horse, you kicked me hard in my head and heart. Growing up. I became easy prey for the monster you always were.
Now, the identification that stated who I was those many years ago when I was born, no longer matters. Just as in all the years you were hostile toward me, I no longer need to steal, beg, or borrow, courage.
I stopped by this time to tell you I have a new project in the works. Photography. Fact is, I just sold a dozen photographs of different scenery. Lakes, rivers, a waterfall and even the old homestead in the country my grandmother died in many years back.
Oddly enough, before I came here, and this will be the last time. I read my daily horoscope in the paper, and it said you (I) need to make significant changes to have a peaceful life. I thought about that on the way here, and I decided I have remitted all debt to being the son you never wanted.
What hurts though, is even after death, I still love you and will never feel that back.