The U Turn 00:01
Brains,
I miss you. i am missing ou, u. It is all that is left. Traces to the real world. When i pulled the trigger at the Ward in 4023, I had no idea. Would there be an afterlife? Would we reincarnate, or be doomed to relive ourselves on repeat? No such things. Now i am ether. Neither here nor there. No body special, yet I remember (u). So i gather I must be some particulate, maybe like light, moving in waves of my own frequency-- uncontained yet specific. I don't exactly see things or hear things, as we used to, but somehow perceive--out in the open--as it were, with a pseudo realism like film projection. A thousand units in the distance, like on a stadium movie screen.
What blew out (as material) i understand is now neatly dispersed back among various intellectuals. I know. Grotesque. But, matter is neither created nor destroyed. As linking spirit, i have the strange capacity, and strong desire, to reach out to all these lost pieces that once encompassed me, before I perished in my own mind. There are other isolated particles in parallel beside me, but senseless in communication. Among us there is only cosmic friction. Static. It maybe that my current condition is specific to my prior undiagnosed mental disturbance? I think that even now, I mistake and attribute pieces that aren't really u's or us. Such is my loss. But what miracle that some transmission still picks up these signals of mine and Ai can generate this vaguely coherent resultant drivel.
I thank the prophetic inventor Dr. J.A. Theo Prouse. Otherwise, this impulse to cross bodies and souls in search of meaning, would be severely limited, nay impossible even, and then i would be doomed to the eternal diaspora of silent screaming in the turning of the Universe.
It is a truly amazing attribute, in what i believe maybe our final state of being, that my former Brains also sense that i am speaking to the plural you. At least this is the lingering faith that hovers. Brains, i am truly sorry for what was lost in the spread!! my transmissions will be unpredictable, irregular, semi-rational. It will not be News at 11 like viewed Under the Stairs; nor the 12AM wires at the Crossroads; nor a book form like at the Sixteen Seats... because i lack presence of mind. Perhaps someone will be so kind as to organize the pieces at some point. I myself am now outside of Time.
Still, I have this residual sense of my past and am grateful that i can check in on significant others, dead and alive. i am beginning to gather that this is a wonderful state of being in which to find Oneself... i hope you'll agree Thx<3U