Jefferson County Skyline

October had been hard. November was harder. It was a haze of Hells Bells and broken dreams.

Picket fences fell and heartstrings were frayed. We lost ourselves,

In grief and strength and something people might call courage.

I saw your eyes that night. Angry and Hurt and all I'd done was search the room until yours had met mine. A steady nod.

From you to me.

I shrugged it off

Straightened my spine and dismissed the awkward tension.

Awkward and scared and confused.

It wasn't what we'd planned

Who wanted more awkward goodbyes or backroom fucks?

"You'll figure it out," I thought. Some after thought on a Louisville night.

I looked at her, teary-eyed and desperate to draw me back.

Lucero was playing, when I stepped away.

Two songs before, I was holding a drink. Some Percocet dream of forgetting October and getting through November.

She was holding onto me as the band struck an AC/DC chord.

Tear stained eyes and too much regret,

I shrugged her away.

She'd missed the moment, I thought.

and I had ran to you. As if all could be forgiven. Forgiven because you understood the guilt inside of me.

Because you accepted that October had been hard, that it had splintered off inside of me.

Like a boomerang of helplessness and defeat.

She was searching for me through the crowd and I was pleading with the disgust in your eyes.

The stage door closed and I was alone in my madness.

I ordered a Woodford, double shot, and I doubled down.

Louisville suddenly seemed messy and too far from home. Too far from that guitar shaped Tombstone, in that family plot...too far from the numbing ache in my ribs

And too close to forget.

So a threw another back and walked out alone.

Just me and A Jefferson County skyline.

A rattled mind and reefer in my hand.