If He stood in front of me.

If he was standing right here, in front of me, I don’t believe that I would have any questions for Him to answer.

Not about “Death”, not about the truth, not about the future, not about the “Why’s?”

If he was to be right in front of me, at this very second, I think I would stare.

The truths that I’ve buried and the lies that I’ve spoken,

The words that were deliberately whispered to harm…

they would consume me.

Like the words that I’ve prayed for strength when I knew I was causing the pain.

Like the words that I’ve prayed for peace when I knew I was someone’s chaos.

If God was in front of me right now, would I wallow in embarrassment? Would I feel anything?

Would he know that every word I’ve ever said was unmistakably spoken? And that “regret” is not something I am capable of feeling?

Would he scold me at that very instance for lying about love?

About His Love.

About the love that I tell my students that he unconditionally has, yet I feel like I can’t be fully loved by Him?

Or would he make me fall to the ground and physically make me carry all burdens I said I was carrying alone?