″because you’re a boy, and she’s a girl″

''because you're a boy, and she's a girl''

words I've been consistently told growing up by my superiors, my peers, my siblings and my parents, as though it were a verbal tick they just couldn't get rid of. It never felt like an actual reason to why i couldn't do what i wanted to, it was as if it was a wall in the way of what i wanted, but i was an obedient child, so i accepted it, or at least convinced myself that i did. it wasn't until i was older that i actually begun to look into myself and try seeing myself for who i was instead of who my society and religion told me i should be, which itself was the precursor to me abandoning all of it. i had decided to cut ties to all of it, the homophobia, the racism and the transphobia associated with my culture, even if it meant losing every connection I'd ever made in my life. looking back it was the best decision i could've ever made. I went from being someone who's entire true 'self' was hidden from everyone but myself, to someone completely open about who they are. essentially going from living for others' sakes to living for my own sake. i still find myself forgetting that it is indeed my own life, and not what social constructs tell me it is. the roots of my childhood indoctrination have still not fully been removed, and realistically, they might never be, but at the very least I'll have recognized the harmful patterns which generational trauma has brought on me. anyways, rant over, thank you for reading.