Closure

Heartbreak. Confusion. Sadness. All of these emotions have taken hold of me to which I cannot dismiss. His leaving me, without notice, blindsided me from all sides. What began as a beautiful morning walking along the beach, side by side, and sloshing water from the receding waves turned into a paralyzing nightmare. I felt something was not quite right but I blamed my irrational insecurities that rise up at the most inconvenient times.

He stopped short, with the sunshine gleaming behind him, and took my hand between both of his and turned me to face him. With no time to really process what was about to happen, he unburdened himself by telling me there was someone else.

Immediately reeling, I tried to render composure but found none of that. His explanation was filled with unnecessary details other than those that were pertinent to me. It took every fiber of my being to allow him to relieve his conscience before I found my voice and protected my dignity with many unanswered questions. I, at least, deserved to understand as best I could and to maintain my value as a person and as his wife.

He left my once-warm and loving home to be with her. He made a point of picking up his belongings when I was conveniently, and thankfully, at work. Work was, unfortunately, preoccupied with thoughts of my then perfect past with him, my downward-spiraling present, and my uncertain future.

Enough was enough. In two weeks, a filing for divorce materialized. He has been seeing her for two years...TWO years! My reflecting upon and looking at photos, gifts, and other mementos that glued us together, found their way into donation bins and trash bags; yet, granted, the photos found themselves set afire in a blaze of freedom, opportunity and new beginnings.

Closure was the grand result, and I found my life was set on fire to blaze a new trail.