Who am I now?

Sometimes I think about who I used to be. Before everything happened. Before grandma died. Before that man took the last little bit of innocence I had. Before the disappointment in my mothers eyes everytime she looks at me. Before I could feel my fathers anger coursing through my veins. Before everything I used to be happy I think. I don't really remember that little girl. I don't really remember anything from before but I think I was happy. I mean I had to be I was a kid. But she's dead. That little girl died at 9 and I don't think I have ever figured out who I am now.