Accidental infringement on other’s sensitivities
I acknowledge gratitude at your acceptance that an artist's creation loses punch if forced to modify his/her creation, whether that constitutes a poem, piece of music, painting, et cetera unless the literary, lyrical, brush stroke, et cetera endeavor violates infringement on other's sensitivities.
Gratitude at communiqué enlightening me how I unintentionally, unquestionably, and unwittingly impacted your steadfast ideological bedrock geology courtesy mine igneous poetic posting(s).
impossible mission to gauge whenever your sensitivities ruffled, cuz blatant, crass, damnable, execrable... meanness absent within me when attempting to express emotions, ideas, opinions, et cetera, and share with others sense and sensibility without pride nor prejudice my perception, which admission invites the notion regarding accidentally, inadvertently, unknowingly, et cetera trespassing and violating the virtual boundaries of another minus of course blatant hate speech, which yours truly (me) abhors.
puzzlement thus arises when written endeavors (mine) finds a reader (especially the administrator/facilitator of website) who gets cross and tetchy when their sacred tenets, precepts, beliefs, et cetera infringed upon prompting me to contemplate how does one exercise freedom of communication cultivating mutual (of omaha - ha) understanding.
one or many people no doubt take objection when perusing stances on various matters I espouse, particularly propensity against or in favor of controversial issue such as politics. rules and regulations rather ambiguous linkedin to verboten matters. rather than modify the heft of some self satisfactory scribbled specimen, I opt to find a more receptive party.
As a former country bumpkin (boot yours truly - me ain't no city slicker), I awkwardly, ineptly, and submissively fumbled thru life..., whereat purposefulness rarely gained traction as das scribe sets forth when orbitz around Earth just a fraction of three score plus five years.
Fatherhood (half my life time ago) bolstered reasonable rhyme manifesting itself before these myopic bespectacled eyes.
Infancy, babyhood, and childhood evidenced, noticed, and witnessed adequate basic provisions, and no shortage of food engendered dynamic cohesion allowed, enabled, and provided "mama's boy" imbued, and attempted to compensate being socially withdrawn posting and answering personal classified advertisements, (while marital vows long since pledged), now in hindsight such risqué communiqués juvenile and lewd sense and sensibility of healthy emotional, mental and physical natural maturation social withdrawal did occlude invariably classmates found lack of responsiveness rude.
Additionally, yours truly never field tested self reliance skill sets, but rather overstayed his welcome livingsocial with parents at 324 Level Road, whose patience he sorely tested ofttimes giving rise since hashtagged as dad's infamous midnight lectures heavily referencing laced expletives, which vituperative ultimatums extemporaneously delivered courtesy paternal linkedin progenitor of mine when the doomsday clock struck twelve allowing, enabling, providing standing room only promising colorful denunciatory epithets assaulting, cannonading, firing... exploding character assassination verbal thermonuclear bombs squarely lobbed at unemployed sole son, his/him offspring afflicted then (three plus decades ago and now) with debilitating anxiety/ social panic, palmar hyperhidrosis, body dysmorphia, and irritable bowel for starters.
I (a rather meek as a mouse individual) stood still as a statue silently weathering such blistering, calumniating, excoriating, fulminating, haranguing, infuriating, et cetera brickbats upon a rather docile doodler with words, who essentially internalized torturous barrage vacuous warnings to shape up or ship out, which mother and father dearest doled out their version of abusive traumatic boot camp survival mode qualified as invisible contusions, fractures, infarctions, lesions, obstructions and ruinations upon psyche.
Less so these days than during mine half life ago throbbing sentimental pangs triggered nostalgic memories of yesteryear (amusing, kibitizing, playfully ribbing older and younger sister), before mine emotionally, mentally, socially, et cetera fraught days of yore spilt presentiment witnessed tinged blood weathering sucker punched blows that wrought battle fatigued figurative war weary civilian.
He (yours truly) doth presently ramble, scrabble, and trundle across gutted landscape strewn with psychological potsherds.
Oppressive alienation hashtags me as outcast, where new born babes technical abilities surpassed scant infantile savviness (mine) spurring notion, whereby yours truly lived ages ago, when pedestrian pace of life (again mine) sedate compared and contrasted with present.
Impossible mission to side step cratered pock marked cerebral terrain punctuating terra incognita courtesy disequilibrium severely disrupting ability to function, especially distractions issued out radio waves regarding same Christmas songs playing every hour during holidays.
I can't shake loose being metaphorically entangled cumulative detritus analogous geologic,
chronologic, and audiologic tracks laid down since conception wrought indelible grooves within noggin.
Risk averse demeanor kept me hermetically sealed against positive growth experiences and (bully me) not sequestered nor singled out as token scapegoat, whereby (wherein) psyche
relentlessly, quintessentially, and painfully assaulted.
I too unwittingly, guiltily, approvingly and willingly allowed, enabled, and provided unrepentant thugs to unleash rocketing brickbats sticks and stones (also Daily family hurled heavy objects at Georgie, a Boxer/Dalmatian mix breed), when our family Audubon, Pennsylvania.
Nevertheless, despite experiencing horrendous childhood grievances, I revere boyhood good times a painfully shy, (albeit rather socially withdrawn) kid with a severe nasal twang courtesy submucous cleft palate, nevertheless oblivious to danger fields safely and securely affixed to mother's apron strings.
Yepper, yours truly a bonafide mama's boy severing figurative umbilical cord I could not deploy even now as an aging baby boomer, viz yule eyes long hair pencil necked geek,
I still experience social anxiety, when feigning hobnobbing amidst hoi polloi.
Now at an advanced crotchety age namely lxv Earth orbitz rome'n around the nearest star, yours truly revisits poignant episodes foisting, launching, snapchatting one after another crisis sidelining ability to cope pursuing life, liberty and pursuit of happiness whiz hard by at light speed.
Though just a snot nosed kid during third industrial revolution, I remember feeling lost in space (age) and agog at being on the cusp, when infrastructure (regarding blueprint describing information superhighway, technological/computer transformation would when soon after graduating Methacton high school (mine alma mater) quickly usher The Fourth Industrial Revolution a way of describing the blurring of boundaries between the physical, digital, and biological worlds, a fusion of advances in artificial intelligence (AI), robotics, the Internet of Things (IoT), 3D printing, genetic engineering, quantum computing, and other technologies constituting Meta sphere.