When Does it End
People, places, professions, and pets
Families' faces, wrongful regrets
Distractions, I think, and think nothing more
Exceptions to that which there is something for
We are our own captors caught in our nets
Living for loving or loving to live
Seeking the whole but the soul is a sieve
Extractions, I think, suggesting a core
Deceptions, and that ever-yearning for more
Free from these factors, what have we to give?
Strip them away--the whats which we love
Shed them or stow them--the whos we think of
Neighbors and labors all peeled away
Sailors of ships, weigh your anchors this day
Gone, gone forever--gone below, gone above
I feel you, feel them, feel nothing but pride
A fool's fleeting memories--memories died
Sabers within pierce what's left of a heart
Nailers in crypts enshrine every last part
Of a life pure and perfect--now nothing inside
And this hollow heart now has nothing to hide
Cast them away as a shimmering stone
Their funny little feet, her intrepid tone
The unwritten stanza, the unwanted strife
To teach ungrown children and unbeheld wife
How to love living life in a life all alone
Pictures prior to twenty-sixteen, March four
Emptiness knots up and rots in the core
Death's anniversary, penitence begs
The people and places, the dives and the dregs
Distractions, I think, and think nothing more
There is no point, in this pit, I opined
What is there left when we're left behind?
But in these dark places with people's bleak faces
On occasion will come solemn moments and graces
It occurred to me--weigh this anchor anchored in my mind
The strings of thought and things of stress
Whether purposeful or purposeless
All we do, all for whom, everything that we think,
And every sin we commit, have in common a link
They're made meaningful or stayed--meaningless
A dangerous thought had entered my mind
And a stranger one caught just before I could find
Any reason to see myself free from these kegs
Up off of my stool, away from the dregs
Sorted, though sordid, and onto my legs
Worrisome words, though cruelly kind
That this life was not meant to be lived in this way
A pall that it all could be ended this day
No more fractions, distractions, or the feeling that this...
That the soul is kept strained if sustained in false bliss
So it keeps coming back-- through endearing decay
Too hard to handle, too heavy to lift
To conceive that to leave is considered a gift
Absolving the world of incessant contention
The matter of making untimely ascension
To degrade the esprit and to dock those adrift
Whatever these worrisome words underscore
Wherever the winds therein blow heretofore
A vow must be made: Every move that I make
Every choice I should choose, every action I take
Must be meaningful, purposeful, thoughtful, and more--
Suspending, and perhaps upending, this never ending March four