two a number

small as your hands yet you fight with the resilience of a million soldiers by your side

doctors said a wheelchair a third birthday gift

i was not ready for this truth

we dreamt of a world where you could run free but reality a different path

your tiny body a battlefield knowing lessons of war too soon

my soul carries rivers

ready to pour

i go to the shower a ritual of escape body masked in showers rain mind in the dark

shower water

hides salty trails

hides the breaking of me

truth is a cold

easier in the shower to spill the rivers of my soul

tears go unheard

but i cannot unhear the doctor's words

a chill i cannot thaw

now you sleep but me

i have ptsd worried i will wake to your eyes elsewhere lips blue

i cannot find peace

in the night with your epilepsy

having brain spikes as you rest

I wish I could take them away

wish I could give you my legs so you can be a kid

but your strength teaches me how to breathe