The Search For the Answers to Life’s Biggest Questions

Isn't most of life a matter of perspective? For example, for some a good, firm spanking is a reasonable punishment for bad behavior. For others a good, firm spanking is a reasonable reward and the perfect way to end a Saturday night.

Do grizzly bears see camping tents the way we see the plastic wrapper on a microwavable burrito? Oh sure they can be a bit of a pain to open, but the warm, high calorie yumminess on the inside is worth the trouble. Although there is one small drawback. No one ever includes a packet of Tapatio sauce inside the package to add a little spiciness to the overall eating experience.

Has anyone actually seen someone buy one of the 5 pound fruitcake bricks sold at Costco during the holidays? I've always imagined that after the holidays they get shipped by the ton to small developing countries to be used as hurricane proof building materials.

Why don't funeral homes offer funny t shirts as a clothing option for the deceased? For example:

-Wanna See My Stiffy?

-Yesterday Was The Last Day Of The Rest Of My Life

-AHHHHH WHO DECOMPOSED? Somebody Light A Fucking Match!

I've Been To The Mortuary, Was Embalmed, And All I Got Was This Lousy Fucking T Shirt

-I Left My Entire Fortune To My Favorite High Priced Prostitute

-My Last Wish Is That During Cremation, Blue Oyster Cult's, "I'm Burning For You" Gets Played In The Background For Mood Music.

Travel Tip: The only music stations you get on the highway to hell play nonstop country music and at the end of every off ramp is a Walmart, Taco Bell, and your in-law's house.

Why do they call it Social Media when it makes me want to fake my own death, move to a small hut in the forest, and disappear from society in favor of making friends with woodland creatures?

Those who claim to be Christians...Have they READ their instruction manual? Because from what I've seen they collectively missed all those chapters on loving their neighbors, not judging, and giving to those in need.

Should I keep what I'd do for a Klondike Bar to myself because I think it could result in criminal prosecution?

Is it just me or are the most incapable, stupid, completely devoid of common sense, and most given to fucking things up for everyone people the most fertile?