002
One of the very first things we both mentioned were the e-mails, you saying that you had been re-reading them, me mourning their absence from my life and my lack of memory. I asked if you could send them over tremulously, as if I didn't have the right to request that, but you seemed overjoyed to do it. It's amazing how 10 years change people. I see myself in every one of your words and shake my head at the naive blind optimism of past-me. Funny how even now you wish you could feel and think like I did back then. You still think that's the way to go, hopefully encouraging everyone in their pursuits, regardless of how painful failure will be. I cannot say if I wish I still were like that, but I can tell that I'm a little proud of your admiration, even if I'm underserving of it nowadays.
One thing I've realized and I'm reluctant to admit is how much he is like I was and how much I am to him like you were to me. Well, I'd want to see I'm a bit more mature, but that was one of your complaints back then too, how conceited I was about 'my superior maturity' when I was mostly just running away. I must say that at least we both can see that the other is happy even if we both hurt each other tremendously in the past (we both thought we did the other more wrong, but maybe it's not a matter of competition but of forgiveness). I must also say that I'm happy that you're in my life again and maybe this time there won't be a reason for you to go away or for me to push you.