Lesson learnt

I'm scared

Scared to break, to fall

Scared to mend, to rise

Fear engulfs me as I try

Try and try to love

But it's just another 4 letter word

Like hate

I'm afraid

Afraid to care, to show

Afraid to ignore, to conceal

My fears are the demons attacking me

Consistent attacks I cannot stop

But it's just another 6 letter word

Like endure

40% sad

60% happy

A wholesome 100 you make me

But can never mend my whole

Broken pieces

In your deceptive eyes and

Cunning fingers

You grabbed my heart

Changed it from the rocks of the shore

To the deep waters of the blue

And now you've got me

And I've got you

But this doesn't take away

My fear or my attacks

Perhaps even more

It drives them closer to me

You said you loved me

And I believed you

Even with my broken pieces you called heart

Now you say you hate me

And I believe you

Cos it's just a four letter switch

Something you couldn't switch up in time

Before you turned my lights on

For you to push me back in darkness

Submerged hopes, lesson learnt

✓ Xx Ayanfe