alphabet

My love for you is A-Z,

Arranged neatly in rows,

Quietly taking place in a lined portion of my kindergarten notebook on the dusty back shelf.

Waiting.

I always thought that we were just friends.

But boy was I wrong.

I caught feelings for you the way I catch a baseball...poorly.

I was dazed, dumb-struck,

Demanding my brain to stop before it was too late,

But I know that the brain never ever listens, especially when it comes to you.

First, I walked home with you,

Faint steps on empty neighborhood streets,

Garages shut against the grueling heat,

And you held the inside of your pocket the way I wanted you to hold my hand.

You can't imagine how incapacitated I was by you.

Just craving the key to unlocking the mystery of your head.

I longed for your laugh which rolled out of your lips like caramel.

My mind couldn't handle you.

Nothing seemed normal about the way I acted around you.

Of course, there was no option to switch off the butterflies that tore up my insides.

I probably would have preferred them gone without a second thought.

Quietly, you would smile at my remark, or quickly glance at me when you thought I wasn't looking, 

And really, I remember every detail.

Your smile's small quirk at the edges,

The way the rain trailed off the tip of your nose,

The bags under your eyes,

The volume of your voice when we "argued".

What were my feelings thinking?

With the xanthic nature of your gaze,

You were too yellow, too happy, too perfect,

For my zealously beating heart.