The sound of her screams woke me up.

As I blinked my eyes and glanced at the time,

It was 4:15 and I wondered if it was all a dream.

She yelled again, my name clear and concise.

So I grabbed my phone and ran up the stairs.

Squinting as I’m harshly greeted by all the light,

Her screams vibrating through the house.

I looked around at the alarming sight,

All the lights turned on and the door wide open.

I ran up the next flight, my fears creeping in.

As I rounded the corner and approached their room,

My heart sank into my stomach.

I watched her rhythmically push on his chest

And heard the voice on the phone confirm the nightmare.

Back down the stairs I went

I opened the door to hear the sirens

And directed the traffic to his body.

I followed them up and grabbed her arm as they began to work.

Time stood still as we made the calls,

And before I knew it an hour had passed.

The detective sat down to deliver the news

But she already knew the truth.

My hands went cold and my body went numb

As I realized that my worst fears just came true.

When I lost him, I lost you.

I couldn’t be where you are

When he wasn’t with me.

He believed in you more than anyone

And I want to have his faith

But how do I forgive you?

When you took him from me.

Today is your birthday,

And I didn’t get you a present.

I didn’t bake a cake

There’s not a card with your name.

Today is your birthday,

And we didn’t celebrate.

There were no balloons

There were no streamers.

The words ‘happy birthday’ were never said.

Today is your birthday,

But there is no celebration.

Your age didn’t change;

Forever stuck at 53.

You see, today is your birthday,

But you're not here with me.

The darkness comes when I least expect it.

It can be in the middle of the day,

Or in the dead of night.

But everytime the darkness comes,

I feel so much despair.

The room grows cold and everything goes grey.

All of the grief hits me at once,

And I begin to fade.

It was just a simple question,

But it ruined everything.

Those who were once behind me,

Were now facing me head on.

The pitchforks were carried,

And the torches were lit.

I shed tears until I dried,

And yet continued to cry.

I stayed away for days,

As the rumors began to fly.

The rumors, though, were false,

So I tried to make my case.

But in the end the hunters won,

And I went up in flames.

The legacy I carried on,

Was now just simply gone.

I stared down at the pulsing red light as it mocked me into submission. It's flashing showing me how truly alone I am in this world. As my finger hovered over the little button knowing what was going to happen I paused to inhale. After what seemed like an eternity, I pushed the button and exhaled. My mother’s voice rang out reminding of our Sunday brunch and telling me about another friend’s son who I should meet.

My parents always had high hopes for my future.

They told me I could be great.

They said I could spread my wings and fly,

Because they had high hopes for me.

I had dreams for my future.

I dreamed I could be anything

In reality I just wanted to be something.

My parents expected me to know what I wanted.

They raised me to dream…

But did they let me hope too much?

I wanted so much and dreamed of even more.

Now I’m stuck with my reality,

Wanting, hoping, and expecting my dreams to be out of reach.

Who am I you ask

Your guess is as good as mine

Does anyone actually know who they are?

Okay, fine I’ll give it a try…

Who am I?

I am the person in the background,

The one you rarely notice.

I make you laugh with my jokes

If only for a moment.

You come to me with your issues

But never seem to have time for mine.

I’m the person who picks up your pieces

When you’re broken in two.

I put you back together and hold you up high.

You stand on my shoulders

And can touch the sky.

But with each passing day my shoulders grow weak

I start to crumble into pieces

And they blow away with the wind.

But you don’t help me find my pieces

Like I do for you.

Who am I?

You may never truly know,

But you can count on me always

Because who I am is loyal and loving

To all those I hold.

You’re dead

And I’m angry at the world.

I’m angry

I’m sad

I’m alone

You left me alone

And I’m angry at you for this.

How dare you leave me,

I wasn’t ready for this.

I’m not ready to be on my own.

I need you here to guide me,

To show me what to do.

But you’re dead

And I’m all alone.

Left here waiting for you.

What do you call this?

This feeling that I have.

It happens often

And comes in sudden waves.

It courses through my body

And makes my stomach ache.

My heart rate quickens

As the realization starts to hit

That I will never see your face

Not outside a picture at least.

You’re voice is now a distant murmur

As your presence begins to fade.

This is my new life,

I tell myself each day.

Is this the acceptance they said would come,

Or is it my grief still trying to take me away?