i’ve washed it a dozen times

to get rid of your smell

but i’m still left with the

memory of you

between the creases of

my shirt

reading

in between

the lines

is useless

when all i know

is left in wisps of

smoke

from your

cigarettes

i guess they

see a different person

when they raise their

eyebrows and

say your name in

disgust

i should stop

pretending there’s someone

in bed next to me

when all there is

is empty bedsheets

and sweaters i never

put away

do you think of me at 3am?

or am i just wasting my time

thinking you do?

do you ever pass by the street

my house is on, wondering

what i'm doing inside?

are gray mornings wasted

wondering if i am dancing

in the rain outside?

well i am dancing

while tears roll down my cheeks

because i should be with you

and instead

i am dancing

alone

in the rain

while tears roll down my cheeks.

i am thinking of you

and what you are doing

at 3am

when i know,

deep down in my heart

i know,

it isn't me you're

wasting your day

thinking of.

it isn't me you'll

drunk call

or hope to

run into

in a grocery aisle.