hi. it's been a while. apparently while i was gone i got over 70 follows? thanks! (don't forget to sub with your free Twitch Prime)
while i was gone, ive been figuring myself out more.
i'm agender and trying out Vox/Vox's and He/Him pronouns
im very lesbian
and ive struggled
and ive been hurt
and i've seen a channel that brought joy and laughter to so many millions
but that's beside the point
i probably won't be on that often
seing as how y'know
im technically not allowed to have an account
but i'm back
and i'm (probably) not leaving (maybe, i make no promises)
there was a kindergarten that i knew
in it there were children
they were special, when they flew
across the field, then they knew
they knew that they were different
they knew that they were strange
it was kind, it was sweet, it was every
thing i could possibly need
i went to this kindergarten
in the city of rockets
i wanted to fly
3rd hour of the day
it's 3am and I can't sleep. I wish I could. All I can see is the failure. I see myself falling, only falling, and I see the rope. The rope that strangled him. The rope that strangled her. The rope that strangled everyone I loved. The rope in my hands. MY hands. Everyone I loved, gone, by my doing. The alarm clock is so loud. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. I materialize a rope. I start to tie a noose. I put my head through and tie the end of the rope to the hook on the wall, and step off of the bed. It's 3am. I can finally sleep.
butterflies. the feeling before a first date.
the feeling when you're getting dressed and you realize you don't know what to do.
that one time you messed up
and you fell down the stairs
butterflies. the feeling of insecurity
when you wonder if you should go through with it
or just back down and cry
Understanding-via Dr. Doofensmirtz
I'll never understand why people hate the bad guy. They act like we do these crazy things, but when they look at it, they only see something funny. Once, I created your stereotypical doomsday device. You know, something to teach them all a lesson. Well, just like they all do, my doomsday-inator failed. You, Perry the Platypus, knocked it ot of the sky. Anyway, they thought that was sooooo funny. They laughed and laughed. Well, I'll make them understand. They'll see. They'll all see. With my new understand-the-bad-guy-inator, they'll—oh, are you kidding? Really? Perry the Platypus, I just want understanding.
what if i left and no one noticed
what if i died but no one cared
what if i confessed my care, but they didn't
what if everybody left me
what if i jumped off
It was a normal day, but Diana could feel that something was off. It was the middle of January, and there was a chill in the air. Around 12:30, she got a call on her cell. It was her best friend's mom, saying that their family was going to the next town over, and that they needed a cat and house sitter.
She immediately said yes, and they thanked her. She saw their car pull out of the driveway, and went inside. They left a note saying that she could stay the night. Diana called her mom, and asked if she could.
“Yes, of course, stay at their house, Dia,” her mother said.
“K, thanks, mom!” She replied.
She went into the living room, and started to play some music. The radio was interrupted by a high-pitched siren. Diana, in all of her infinite wisdom, thought that it wasn’t a big deal, so she switched to a different station. The noise turned back on, and she saw that the cat was next to the radio. She moved to turn the siren back off, and the cat unsheathed his claws. She noticed that the cat’s pupils were severely dilated, to where the pupil almost filled up the eyes.
“Mewdles, are you okay?”
Dia noticed that the meow was drawn out, which wasn’t right for Mewdles. Mewdles was starting to advance toward her, very slowly.
The radio was still emitting the siren. The cat hopped onto the girl and so began their strange dance.
“Mewdles! Get off of me, it hurts!” There was no reply. The cat’s claws were still digging into her shoulders. They were starting to bleed. She shook the cat off, leaving gouges in her neck tendons. The cat started advancing again, leaving her no choice but to run.
She ran down the hallway, leaving a dotted trail of blood. The cat was deterred by this trail, thinking it was water. It tasted the tang and was quickly back on the hunt. Mewdles launched himself at the young girl, and bit her face. The girl wailed, and Mewdles started clawing at her cheeks. The cat’s claws found their mark rather easily, and Diana cried again. The child started running back to the radio, and she heard a cruel voice.
“Hello there, Diana… You may be wondering who I am. Just know that only you can hear this message. I have been watching you. The noise you heard earlier was a special pitch that… reprograms the brains of felines.”
The girl was starting to get dizzy.
“Wh-who are you?”
“I am everything you fear. I release the murderous nature inside of all felines, even those who have been… house trained. I am… your worst nightmare.”
“So, Batman?” Diana was breathless.
“Then why is your voice so terrifying?”
“Why in the world are you attacking me?”
“Because YOU ARE WEAK. You are a pathetic little girl. You are NOTHING. I am attacking you because I can. IT’S FUN.”
Diana could see her blood pooling on the floor in the kitchen, staining the wood, staining the furniture. She knew that humans had a lot of blood, but she didn’t know they had this much.
“How long do I have?”
“Oh, about 5 minutes until you bleed out. If you want it to be faster, I can help with that. There is no escape from death, little girl.”
The girl was already unconscious, lying on the wooden floor with her eyes closed. The high pitched noise started again. Mewdles advanced toward the girl, and launched himself at her with a yowl. His claws extended and found their mark on her eyes. The cat enjoyed the squish of the eye enveloping his claws, and purred. Instantly, the noise stopped, Mewdles retracted his claws, and licked his paws clean.
There was no response from Diana, though.
Again, no response.
The large cat heard a knock, and hid.
Two Days Later
“We found her like this after we unlocked the door. We don’t know what happened, it looks like her eyes and body were clawed at, by an animal. But it doesn’t make any sense. How did this happen?”
It was Diana’s best friend’s mom, Cheryl. She was talking to the police, and was starting to breathe very heavily. A tear was coming into her wife’s eye, too. Her wife, Veronica, was on the phone with Diana’s parents, Ram and Martha.
“You need to come over to our house. Right now. It’s about Diana.”
“Okay, Veronica. We’ll be right over.”
The line went dead. In a few minutes, all four parents were standing over Diana’s body.
“Where is your daughter?’ Ram asked.
“Toni is over at her grandparents. You haven’t met them, which is surprising. Their names are Jason Dean and Jennelle.”
“Oh, wait. Yes we have. We went to high school with them. It was a great time.” Martha started to sniffle.
“Our little girl will never graduate. She was only a Sophomore…”
The police were actively handing out tissues from the Kleenex Lotion Ultra-Huge-Mega-Pack they had brought with them, just in case.
“Just so you know, you will never recover from this, but it will give you incentive to try new things.”
“Gee, thanks a lot, jerk,” Ram replied, angrily.
“Oh, no worries, you’re welcome, friend.”
“That wasn’t what I-oh, never mind.”
The parents were almost drowning in their tears, because they couldn’t catch their breath. They were crying immensely hard.
“Why did this have to happen?”
“I’m sorry, did you ask why?” a gravelly voice interrupted. It seemed like the radio had turned itself back on. That or the channel had been dead or switched to another remotely. They had barely heard when the static turned off and the quiet, intently listening breathing started.
“I killed her because I could. I wanted to. I had the POWER.”
“Who the freaky-deaky love of god are you?” Veronica replied.
“I won’t waste my time on you cretins. I wasted too much time on the little girl you call Diana. Just know this, there is no escape from death. I’ll kill you now.”
The same high-pitched noise started, and the cat formerly known as Mewdles-now renamed by himself Sir Scratch-a-lot heard the call. He made quick work of the parents, who screamed at the sight of the cat with the blood-matted fur. He launched toward their faces, and ripped into their eyes with his teeth. Their deaths were quick and much more painless than Diana’s.
The pitch changed a little, and Sir Scratch-A-Lot started to shift into a guard position.
“Okay, Mr. Police Officers, you have one chance. Apologize for letting me do this and kill the cat. The one to kill it must be Mr. Oakely, though. I know that you love these little fluff balls. If it’s not you, then you both die by cat-mauling storm. Then I will be sated. You will be my last kill. If you don’t kill the cat, you die anyway. If Mr. Emmett kills the cat instead, if you, Mr. Oakely, Sir, you will die.”
“C’mon, Oakely, just shoot the dang cat!” Officer Emmett screamed. The other officer pulled the trigger of the gun. BANG! A shot went off and the old woman two houses down the street screamed. Emmett’s body fell to the floor.
“Bra-vo, Oakely. He never would’ve guessed it. His narrow mind is too focused on doing what other people tell him to do.”
“Would you have killed him anyway?”
“No, of course not. I was just testing you.”
“Testing me for what?”
“To see if you would fall for it. And you did. Bra-vo, Oakely.”
The pitch got higher again. Sir Scratch-a-Lot advanced toward Officer Oakely, and latched onto his back. His paws scratched through his thin shirt, and he screamed in agony. The cat detached from Oakely’s back and darted around the wailing man. He jumped onto the man’s face, and scratched until it was completely covered in blood. The officer staggered, and fell onto his back. The cat stalked around the desperate man, and growled. The last sound out of Senior Officer Oakely’s mouth was a terrified scream. His was a short story.
The last sound that came out of that house was maniacal, evil, not quite human laughter.
The house, 12345 Haysland Dr. was never again inhabited. The bodies hidden there were never found, only the skeletons. It was like they had been eaten by a feline. One with a large skeleton, found under the porch by a man in 1966. His name was Paul. He was looking around the neighborhood he had just moved into, when he heard a high-pitched noise. Followed soon after by a quiet purr.
The words I want to hear
the words i want to hear are the words of my friend after they realize that suicide is not the answer.
Once, there was a demon, named Castillo. This demon was lonely, and depressed. He cut himself, because he thought that it would relieve the emotions he felt. Eventually, he tried to commit suicide. He tried to jump out of a moving bus, but his friends held him back. One of them was an angel that he didn’t know. When his episode passed, he saw that the angel had slipped him a note.
“I see you, Castillo. I know how you feel. I’ve been there. I almost commited suicide, but I found help in the eyes of God.” ‘Oh, great,’ Castillo thought. ‘This angel is giving me advice for finding God to a demon, because it’s an angel.’ He continued reading.
“Whenever you feel like killing yourself, call me on my cell.” The note listed a cell number, but the demon ignored it. ‘This angel can’t help me. I’m a demon anyway. God won’t help.’
Castillo was in his room the next day, and started thinking about how the angel wanter to help. He realized that even though he needed help, he didn’t want it. He only wanted himself dead. A week later, his mother said some things to him, and he tried to hang himself by stepping off of his bed. It didn’t work, and his mother came into his room and saw him. She managed to cut the noose, and saw all of the scars. “Castillo, why?”
“Because no one cares. NO ONE.”
"Yes, we do."
"No, you don't. You can't, 'cause you're a demon too." Castillo was almost weeping.
Castillo's mother was dialing the number on the note.
"Hello?" the angel asked.
"Hi, yes, I noticed that my son has a note from this number?"
"Oh, that's because he tried to jump out of a moving bus and I saw that he needed help. No one is a better helper than the Lord himself."
"Oh, screw it. I don't need your God hype. I'm a demon. He can't help my son anyway."
"Well burn in hell for all I care, bitch."
"I live there."
The line went dead. Castillo was in awe.
"Wow, mom. I didn't think you cared," was his staggered reply to the conversation.
"Of course I do. It may not seem like it, but I realized that I was starting to treat you like my parents treated me."
"You were depressed too?" His mother nodded.
"I guess we're just a couple of kindred spirits," she replied.
Jake was reciting his newest poem, while waiting for people to get on the bus.
"I know you don't see me
you "hang" with all the populars
I'm one of them too, but you don't see me
you don't see me even though you know
we're on the same football team
i'm linebacker, you're quarter back
your teammates in front back-to-back
if only you would see-"
Will had gotten on and heard him. "I hear you, Jake. And I do see you. I thought you didn't see me." Jake smiled and hugged Will. In response, Will kissed Jake's cheek.
2 months later
"Ready to go, Will?"
"I love you, Will."