the blank page

howled

at me;

begging me

to

write

anything.

black ink stained

the simple white sheet,

(un)written evidence

of my

incompetency

the sweet taste of spite

baked in your red velvet eyes;

the sprinkles of hope

coated in pretty white lies.

a slice of perfect fantasy,

but its burnt and undercooked.

the crumbs of your words

so loud but overlooked.

caked in frosted blood,

the scent as lovely as a dream;

the oven counting down

for the taste of perfected esteem.

these layers of untruths,

hidden under icings of fear;

your words wont affect me,

if i cannot hear.

the lovely snow,

that vibrant white,

the glittering ground

on a cold winter's night.

hot cup of cocoa,

the television's loud,

everyone is laughing,

a joyful crowd.

the air is so warm,

despite the low temps,

the tree is glowing,

everyone wants a glimpse.

never did i think

this moment wouldn't last,

i hoped it'd go forever;

i don't want christmas to go fast.

your eyes are shining,

as shimmering as the snow.

i take your hand in mine,

not wanting to break our flow.

you look back at me,

your smile so wide,

while this single moment cant last

i'll make many more by your side.

"perfection's the best,

perfection's the key."

to that i say no,

perfection is yours to see.

you can choose your own life,

your style's your own.

no one's stopping you,

i'll be your stepping stone.

go at your own pace,

i know that you can;

don't hold yourself back,

i'll be your biggest fan.

supporting you always,

i'm here by your side,

call me whenever

if you need to confide.

you're talented and smart,

kind and you're wise;

beautiful and melodic,

you forever will rise.

so let it be known,

scream as loud as you wish,

that no one is holding you back,

and you love your ever blemish!

the walls are crashing down

of the palace i called home.

see, i ripped apart the pillar

and tore it down to stone.

i know that it's my fault,

and i know that i should cry,

but despite the pain i feel

it cannot show or i would die.

i want to rebuild this place

and restore its former glory

but first i must make sure

that my heart is in the story.

i don't want to rebuild it

just for it to crash again,

all because of a mistake

that i have buried deep within.

so instead, i must change

and bring peace back to this land

so i can pick up the pieces

and no one shall be banned.

so i will try to reach out

to those who were inside

and then i'll build again,

a castle we can safely reside.

lost in translation,

blood drips from the word,

i feel like i'm dying,

but i know it's absurd.

i want to ask for help

but i'm miles away,

see, my mind is an island,

no matter what you say.

the island looks beautiful,

petals scattered around.

and the calm of the ocean

is such a wonderful sound.

the sunlight pours in,

through the gleam of the leaves,

and the sand glows a bright yellow,

it's all anyone hopes to receive.

but as you stay longer,

you begin to understand

why the island is inhabitable,

a dangerous land.

the petals are off the flowers,

leaving only the thorns,

all because of a mistake,

a love that i forever shall mourn.

the ocean was beautiful

until it began to overflow,

engulfing the island

to where it barely even shows.

the sunlight is gleaming,

but not on the trees;

it shows the depth of each shadow,

what the eyes didn't see.

sometimes i think about how

before, it was you and me,

we would fight the dangers together,

you alone were the key.

but right as you leave,

almost as if it's on cue,

the dangers turn to face me

all because of a simple failed "i love you."

the jungle is wild

inside my head,

i don't know when

it'll all be dead.

i hear the rustle

of the gentle wind,

i feel the words

that the lonely send.

i feel alone

in this place.

so i stare up

into space.

it feels so empty,

yet so full of life.

and then begins

the hateful strife.

the animals

all glare at me,

i kind of wonder

what they see.

am i game to them,

a simple feast?

or am i a human,

the greatest of beasts?

they look at me

with pleading eyes,

begging me

for a million lies.

i cannot say

what they need me to,

i can not hide,

that's what they'd do.

so i look at the animals,

all in a line.

and i say that this jungle

is mine.

they laugh at me,

they think i'm weird.

perhaps it would be better if

i just disappear.

the clouds get darker,

the wind picks up.

the murmuring voices

have had enough.

the animals

all cry and scream,

i guess it was exactly

as it would seem.

they rush at me

and thunder strikes,

the trees are howling

with delight.

they want me gone,

this forest is theirs.

it was never mine,

it was never fair.

it's all in my mind,

i know that now,

but sometimes fantasy

says what reality never shall.

it shows the truth,

clear as day

that this jungle in my head,

will always have the last say.

i close my eyes,

and down i fall,

to where truth lies,

and silence calls.

surrounded by darkness,

inside of the light,

i am flightless

yet i try with all my might.

i can’t escape

this rabbit hole,

but can i reshape

my twisted soul?

can i change my ways?

if i do, will i fly?

so i go at it for days,

but nothing happens, why?

so down i fall,

forever and ever.

i can stall

but it’s a hopeless endeavor.

i’m still falling down this black pit,

where voices fill my mind.

i can try to talk and sit,

but i can’t promise they’ll be kind.

people say i should be positive,

and maybe that’ll work.

but i am still not talkative,

these shadows, they still lurk.

so without wings,

i can’t get out,

there are no kings

to erase my doubt.

i scream your name,

and i yell loudly,

i know it’s lame

and quite cowardly.

but please, oh please,

won’t you lend your hand?

grab the keys

and let’s take a stand.

you’d fly me out of here,

and to the moon.

i’d have nothing to fear,

though i know you’d leave soon.

but you’re not with me,

so i have to fend for myself.

black as far i can see,

so happiness, farewell.

edit: definitely not my best poem ever, super sorry for the lack of creativity put into it! i kinda rushed it so i'd have something to post.

my rainclouds won’t go away,

but i have you,

and you are my sun

so let’s watch together

as a rainbow forms

within the downpour.