I look her way and catch her eye,

She leads me where the wood seclude.

The clearing opens up the sky,

We find ourselves in solitude.

Dressed in gowns with lace and frills,

We waltz among the daffodils.

too many

words

are left

u n s p o k e n

restrained

by the

fear

of

m a k i n g

o u r s e l v e s

h e a r d

I only started listening to podcasts this past year, with the whole “quarantined at home and lacking entertainment” situation. Here’s two that I just really like, and could totally geek out over.

The Bright Sessions (science fiction)

“The Bright Sessions is a science fiction podcast that follows a group of therapy patients. But these are not your typical patients - each has a unique supernatural ability. The show documents their struggles and discoveries as well as the motivations of their mysterious therapist, Dr. Bright.”

This is probably the only podcast that I’ve actively tried to force other people to listen to. It took me a couple of episodes to get invested, but it’s very worth it. Season one mostly just introduces the characters individually, and seasons two-four focus more on the larger plot that connects them. It also has a ton of LGBT characters which is another huge plus. I have successfully convinced four of my friends to listen to it, and only one of them didn’t like it enough to keep listening. So... that’s a pretty high success rate in comparison to the other things I recommend to them.

This one is all free but there a couple of spin-offs too that are available on Luminary with a monthly subscription. I haven’t listened to them yet, but I’m subscribing as soon as I’m finished writing my finals. I’m honestly the cheapest person I know and I get lots of anxiety surrounding money, but I will guilt-free subscribe to hear the spin-offs. That’s the best way I can describe how much I loved this podcast.

Other People’s Lives (anonymous interviews)

Hosts Greg Dybeck and Joe Santagato interview anonymous strangers about a really wide variety of topics. Each episode is about 40-60 minutes long. The hosts are pretty open and non-judgemental about the topics discussed, and the show is great if you’re looking to broaden your own perspectives a little bit.

Honestly the best way to get a good idea of the topics discussed is to just scroll through their feed. Here’s some episodes that I’ve listened to and enjoyed:

- I Got Engaged To My Catfisher

- I’m Sexually Attracted To Sneezing

- Did The World End In 2012?

- Living With Severe Tourette’s Syndrome

- I Survived A School Shooting

- I Just Got Out Of Prison

- I’m A Satanic Witch

✧ ✦ ✧

I also have a Spotify playlist with some episodes that I’ve enjoyed in the past, hopefully the link works: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4YWrHnENeaFKrMxcflwDW3

It has a bunch of different genres, so feel free to check it out if your interested. They’re mostly just individual episodes, but I also included some pilot episodes for fictional podcasts.

I’m fully taking this as an opportunity to gush about Hozier. I love all of his songs and I talk about him enough that *most* of my friends started listening to more of his music. He’s most well known for the song Take Me To Church, which is an absolute bop that fits about every single emotion I’ve ever felt. It’s my go-to song for scream-singing with a group of friends late at night, but it’s also the perfect soundtrack for all of my mental breakdowns. Just saying.

If I absolutely had to choose just one song from him, I’d probably start with Jackie and Wilson, but then I go and list all the other ones that come to mind:

-As It Was

-Dinner and Diatribes

-From Eden

-In A Week (feat. Karen Cowley)

-Shrike

-Would That I

I’ll stop myself now, but honestly, all of his songs are good.

Also, he accidentally uploaded this video to his Instagram story and I have it bookmarked on my computer and probably watch it way too often https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tQ-CRfZrhk

✴✷✴

Even though I do have a playlist of entirely Hozier songs, I listen to a bunch of other underappreciated artists too:

Chloe Moriondo- I love her Spirit Orb EP, and I’m considering the song Bugbear as my graduation song. Her Youtube channel has a ton of song covers, and she just makes me smile. Also, I’m obsessed with her music video for Kindergarten - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIs5il5HHyw

Mxmtoon- Her music has a more calm vibe to it, I really like her Dawn & Dusk album. There’s this concert video that popped up in my Youtube recommendations that I also have bookmarked- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJlVuZYA-J4. I don’t know if this is something I would laugh at if I didn’t already know the song but there’s that.

Cavetown- Not one of my absolute favorites, but worth mentioning because he still has a lot of good songs. My favorite is probably Devil Town (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBWQ2vVH43g this version in particular) Also, his music videos are really cute, I love the chaos in Lemon Boy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-itZVX-SUkI), and the art for Home is gorgeous (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2APLh8_ExU0). He also did a song featuring Chloe Moriondo called Snail, and her background vocals in that just get me every time.

Cullen Vance- My favorite Celtic musician. He has a cover for Fireflies which I love (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMAqzxHcGxs) and a cover of Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom which makes me laugh (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGEIWXAzKZI) Also, no hate but it’s better than the original.

Yungblud- This one probably looks out of place, but I’d be lying to myself if I denied enjoying his music. He appeals to the angsty teenager in me.

✴✷✴

And some songs I have on repeat recently:

Once- Kayar

Girls- Girl In Red

Daylight- Joji, Diplo

Boys Like You- Dodie

1980s Horror Film II- Wallows

Glitter and Gold- Barns Courtney

Line Without a Hook- Ricky Montgomery

Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

It Wasn’t Me- Shaggy, Rik Rok

Georgia- Pheobe Bridgers

Dirty Nikes- Ruth B

The first time I had a Toblerone was in the Jubilee auditorium with my mom. We were watching a touring broadway, Annie, and during intermission, we hyped each other up until she relented and bought one. It was one of those giant ones, and I remember breaking off a piece as the lights dimmed for the second act. Every time I saw or had a Toblerone after that, I thought about that night. It always brought me back to that memory, reminding me of the excitement and bliss of live theatre.

—★—

This past November, during the last couple of weeks of in-person school, we went to a friend’s nearby house during the lunch break. Determined to finish one last episode of Death Note, we were cutting it pretty close to the bell but overall weren’t all that concerned. While walking back to the school, just chatting, I misheard something J said and ended up thinking she was talking about Toblerones. After my interruption and a dramatic shift in conversation, we all collectively went into a downward spiral about how we wanted a Toblerone, hyping each other up and contemplating if we should just run down to the gas station and be late for class.

Well aware that we wouldn’t have enough time to walk down, we knew we’d have to convince either A or F to drive; them being the only people in the group with cars and driver’s licenses. It didn’t take long until A caved in, and drove M down while the rest of us waited in the school’s common area, staring down the hallway for our two friends to come and save the day with chocolate.

The bell had rung, but we lingered, still staring down the hallway while the crowd of high schoolers dissipated, disappearing into nearby classrooms, or up the stairs and out of view. My friends reluctantly gathered their belongings, turning towards the biology classroom. I took a last hopeful glance at the hallway behind when I saw them. Two triumphant figures emerging from around the corner, holding Toblerone bars like prized trophies above their heads.

—★—

Yesterday, M left a Christmas present on my front doorstep. It was a mug filled with a variety of chocolates and sweets, and after bringing it inside, I noticed the Toblerone. This time, I don’t think of the Jubilee first. A wistful smile tugs at my lips and my eyes seek out the bear in the mountain. My mind reaching back to that memory in the back of our biology classroom, and my friend’s hushed delight when she finally makes out its yellow silhouette.

My friends keep a collection of our wisest words. Here’s some highlights.

“Like most ants, beetles also have an exoskeleton”

-Me, June 27 2019 4:15am

“I’ve never had a bean of this species before.”

- B, August 25 2019

“I had a dream that I was being humped - no shit! - HUNTED by Mario and Luigi.”

- B, Sept 26 2019

“Could thou spare but a crumb of crack?”

- B, October 15th 2019

“It’s not just a pussy, it’s magic!”

- M, October 30 2019

“ ♪ The holy cross… the fucking grape ♪”

- M, Nov 2019

“Flies are tiny demons, confirmed?”

- B, Dec 5 2019

“He’s my bread.”

- F, Dec 26 2019

“Ok, imagine if you could feel Shrek”

- J, Dec 31 2019

“Where there’s heat, there’s fog.”

- A, Jan 11 2020

Me: I’m tired of cleaning up other people’s shit

F: I’m tired of cleaning up my own shit

M: I’m tired of my own shit

F: I’m tired

A: Shit.

-Jan 11 2020

“Imagine the cronch of mints but wrapped in flesh”

-Me, Jan 21 2020

“Cats have pronouns and you need to respect them”

-B

and yes I can give context for these if needed

_____________________

some extras: (I wasn't here for all of these so i'm honestly pretty confused about some of them ngl)

“Now as I fucking lay here on my fucking death bed. I look up at the fucking stars thinking about how I’m a fucking saint. A-fucking-men!”

-Me, June 5th, 2019

“I have paparazzi now!”

-F.r

“My eyebrows tell a different story.”

-Me

“Alas, mellons.”

-F.r

“You should tell that at stories.”

-A

“I’ve had like 3”

-M, August 25, regarding alcohol

“Fucking strut you majestic bitch!”

-M, September 26

“J did that not me, don’t involve me with that crazy bullshit bitch!”

-A, September 26

“No Dope”

-A, September 26

“Because a computer is made out of pickles”

-F, Nov 20

“I have all the thumbs!!”

-F.r, Dec 31

“Racism and weebism is basically the same thing”

-J, March 31

“I just like to think about how I’m a meth-head all the time”

-M, April 14

“Wait, you know J? You’re pretty cool, you can sit with us at lunch”

-Me

“Ow why is it so hard?”

-A

“I’m a giz bender”

-F.r

“It’s like a non-consensual game of man tracker!”

-B

“It’s just feet! What the actual hell!?!”

-F.r

“Who’s there? Calf pain!”

-A, July 18

“Wakey wakey, French toast”

-F, August 3

“Ham and green pepper”

J do you have ham and green pepper?’

-I think this might have been me? or maybe F? (there wasn't a name)

“It’s time to get fat!”

-Me, October 5 2020

“I like- I don’t like—- I don’t know how I feel”

-F, October 5 2020

“I like black coffee for its politics”

-A, October 13 2020

“Imagine cutting your dick in half”

-Me, October 19 2020

A: “The gun is sex!”

Me: “No the gun is the dick!”

-October 19 2020

My pristine parchment

Beckons quill, silent scratching

In a moonlit still.

Despite dawn creeping

Ever near, my words demand

To be written here.

#poetry #micropoetry

Memories fading,

The future- my past,

Here shall I sleep

Well rested at last.

My soul to wander,

Alone, and at peace,

Through autumn evenings,

Past fading trees.

My tall oaken friends

Shed leaves, as if tears,

Barren in grief

When autumn fog clears.

The trees surround me

And vow to protect,

Against the heartache

Of life and regret.

Autumn lullabies,

They're singing at last,

Life fades with the trees

And drifts to the past.