For some reason, I always seem to like the guys who are not what is best for me. Like, for example, currently I’ve had a crush on this guy who does not take his academics seriously and occasionally smokes pot. Now, I take my classes seriously and I am 100% against drug usage. But, this guy is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. And I kept telling myself to stop liking him because of those two facts but I couldn’t help how I felt about him. He made me laugh and he made me smile and he made me feel special. But. I’ve come to realize that he treats everyone the same way he treats me. Which, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it makes you wonder how much you actually mean to him in terms of his relationship with other people VS you and if he even cares about you as much as you care about him. As far as I know, he might even treat strangers this nicely. And so you have to wonder how special you really are to him. And, even though I know how I feel about him, I also know he isn’t the kind of guy I want in my life. As a boyfriend. I kind of want to be friends with him still but trying not to like him is going to take a lot of effort regardless of the fact that he does things I am quite against. I just wish I understood my heart and I wish I never liked him because he is not right for me.
Pain and pleasure drift in waves of heat
breathes of cold air chill on rooftops
the dazzle of thin spider veins in sky
ghosts of your soul entangling me
beating on the tarred paper of life
shivers of skin sense you are still here
quivering of our hearts goes on, bursting
through floodgates of falling words
illusions lost in sodden clouds
watery reflections of invisible universe
shuddering sighs from my breast.
Once- only one time, less than 1 year given.
Never from my mind will you part.
Every brief moment we shared was truly a blessing. I still feel your presence so near, little dear.
Tiny hands to hold and play with for as long as time would allow. There I stayed in such a peaceful & great state. My entire being so full of overflowing joy to always see you face-to-face.
The sands of time in the hourglass can’t be reversed. Or I would have tried to go back in time. To be with you for even a much greater while longer.
I thought I’d see you again. But the medical team did their best to save you. Sadly, you came back with a silent heart.
Dearest young sibling, though your time spent here on earth was cut too short- I will always hold you dearly in my own heart. Now and forever more. Even till my last day here on this planet earth.
You may be gone, but I can feel your spiritual being always by my side. I don’t think the time that has passed can ever heal my grief. Now I am only comforted by the thought that I will see you in the afterlife.
You are no longer physically here. That doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten.
Love you for all time my little young darling sis.
Horizon is blazed.
From the enduring fire,
we are born anew.
They rise, armor adorned
riding winged horses
and on their way to battle
Hildr with her shield
and Gunnr tasting the battle
before it’s begun
To choose, those who live
and those who will die
and deliver them to Valhalla
They ride on winged horses
to the battlefields to judge
the honored and the valiant
For they are the Valkyrie
and in the fog of war
they will find you as they rise
eat the distance
as the emptiness turns into twins
and then into triplets, make friends with
the ghosts in your head. have imaginary
conversations about what you would say,
to the multiple versions of your object of affection.
sometimes be diplomatic, sometimes bold in
your honesty--a hand without an ulterior motive,
reaching into the interior and pulling out
the sticky gumption of unspelled words.
chew on the boundaries, digest them,
scamper from the ghosts like that iconic
yellow ball--in an increasingly uncompetitive
level of resistance to cannibalism.
feckless words, defenseless bodies,
a braintrust broken into basic instincts.
as james earl jones once quipped,
"rules? there are no rules here".
petty things, little puritanisms, obfuscate
the truth suspended between us--seeing
through ocean and drinking in air, we reject
the idea of drowning, no matter how real.
most people want to eat each other,
whether because they hate one another
or love, because their inviolable space has
been violated, because their space, immediately,
has become unbearably lonely--if only for
a moment--because of a need to devour,
because of a need to be dominant;
otherwise, a need to be dominated.
slickly veiled with correctness, like a crisco
greased lamp post--so that one may not climb
atop in an orgy of a riot--we maintain
a civil image about ourselves.
let's dispense with the decorum
and speak frankly of the words we sublimate
into gentler cousins, distantly related species
we can make a "please touch" museum of
because--specifically--they will not bite.
bite me with your verbiage,
hate me with your tongue,
fight me while fighting yourself:
show your shadow boxer to me
for he may leap into your skin,
or perhaps dissipate and leave you
defenseless--like you want to be
talking with the ghosts in my head,
there is that honesty i let be wanton
on paper--cannibals all, obsessive eaters
i stand before those alien to themselves,
like tommy lee before a space cockroach,
and i shout out, quite simply: "eat me".
Words of Wisdom From The Wise
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe,
it can achieve. --- Napoleon Hill
Like a brilliant aurora, our emotions exist in a
constant flux, ever emerging and re-emerging.
Like a life- bringing single breath of air is tangible
only to the one who breathes it, but only until the next exhale
when it dissipates into Ether... your most personal feelings feed your soul.
Let your happy emotions be as bright as the aurora, and allow the sad ones to
dissolve back into the Ether with each breath.
Hanging on to resentment is like wandering through
prepetual twilight. It doesn't harm the person you resent,
it only weighs on your own spirit.
Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, or allowing them to hurt you again.
Gaining peace isn't for them; it's for you. You owe it to yourself to let go,
watch for daybreak, and let yourself step into the healing light.
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
--- Albert Einstein
I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.
--- Mother Teresa
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.
--- Albert Einstein
Remember when you are hurting that grief is like a flood,
the deluge can feel life shattering, overwhelming.
Along with what looks like devestation, however, a flood can also
cleanse its path. When you rebuild, you can try to reconstruct what you lost,
or you can choose to make a fresh start. Either way, building better and more enduring "structures" in the wake of the flood can make you even stronger and create even more of an amazing life than you ever imagined possible.
There is nothing in this world that I can't do something about
if it's nothing more than adjust myself to unpleasant situation
so it doesn't destroy my spitir.
--- Napolean Hill
its been a while since ive said anything
all it was
for tell me what could you hear ?
Beware the Barb
beguile innocent fingers
Hi. I'm writing to you with gratitude. I want to thank you for making me so beautiful! You have given me self control and wisdom! You let me shine in the face of my enemies! I eventually won every battle I faced while finding love. You made others wonder about my life and what direction it would take. I have been given physical perfection and health because of you!
Because you are so talented, it seems like everyone wants to hear more about me.
Thank you for my best friend and my awesome dog. Thank you for all the lucky breaks.
I love being held in the hands of people sitting at the poolside taking me in, hardly able to put me down only to return to their own realities.
Oh, this good romantic life of fame cannot stop. Please, keep writing and again,