Life & Death
In each person's journey
life and death are old friends.
Like the sun and moon they may dance around one another
only meeting for a brief moment to shake hands
before continuing on their way.
One cannot exist without the other, but never at the same time.
Is this better than being alone?
I tried to smother the flames
of the spark that ignited in my heart when I first saw you.
Afraid that you didn't feel the same
so I pushed you away
And you pushed back harder.
Cruel words masked the way our hearts screamed out
Begging one another to stay
Screams that would fall on deaf ears every time.
Our toxicity spread like a wildfire
The only warmth we could always feel
is the temporary love shared between us under the sheets
But is this love?
Every time I would leave my heart grew heavier with pain
We watched our flame burn any good intentions we may have had.
And we wonder why we keep crawling back to one another
If this isn't what we want, isn't what we need.
Because the truth my dear,
Is that loneliness is colder than the way he treats me in the dark.
So I will pick up the phone every time that you call.
I am the result of every insult, every bruise, every chemical imbalance, every cut, every bad thing I've ever witnessed.
I am who I am because I choose to live and have a good heart despite it all.
I wish someone would have told me...
Take your time growing up.
Prioritize taking time for yourself to heal, explore and enjoy life if and when needed.
Protect your energy; don't waste it on anyone or anything that don't help you grow.
It's okay to be emotionally vulnerable. You are going to start seeing how much your past effects your present. It's not easy, but it is necessary.
Tell people you love & appreciate them as much as possible.
The world can be dark and life isn't always fair. Remember that there will always be more beauty to be seen.
Letting go of my grief is an impossible task
The heavy weight wraps wires around my heart
dragging my soul out of my chest every time I think of you.
How you illuminated every room you stepped into
Memories of driving down desolate streets in the dead of night
A temporary technique used to vanish reality
Only when dawn replaced midnight
Would we return
the grief and the guilt take turns toying with me
until I am nothing but a blank page stained by a speck of dark ink
Until the ink is absorbed into every atom of my being
I am consumed entirely
Forever wondering why it wasn't me
but you who had to leave.
Humans are Damage
We see the damage that humans do to nature every day. We see it in the gray smoke being pumped into the air from the factories, in the iridescent oil slick on top of the blue water, in the stray dog eating fast food scraps off of the concrete, in the sound of a tree trunk splintering and breaking, in the constant pacing of the animal who has been confined to a cage, in construction set to replace green grass with black asphalt, in the prevalence of another announcement that an endangered species is now extinct, in the piles of garbage that collect in land fills.
At the same time, we can see how humans do damage to one another. We manipulate, steal, abuse, neglect, violate, enslave and kill each other. We talk down to one another. We hurt people who then go on to hurt other people. We continue the cycle and pass trauma from generation to generation, never ending.
What humans have failed to realize is that nature is more resilient than humanity. Nature's cycle is one of destruction and rebuilding. A fire will burn down the forrest in order for the forrest to grow new luscious life. Humanity's fate has been sealed by the collectives' actions. Humans will be the cause of the end of everything we know. And nature will rebuild. The green weeds will slip through the cracks of the concrete. Vines will wrap around the deteriorating corporate buildings. Trees will grow through the asphalt that was meant to keep them out. Nature has inhabited this planet long before humans arrived and will be here long after we leave.
I Saw Your Light Go Out
I saw your motivation shine bright
The light gleaming in your eyes when you talked
about your family
about the ex you were still in love with
Who still loved you
about getting a new job
a new home.
I saw your pain.
Your light crackling like a fire now
Your body shaking
The strain in your voice,
The tears in your eyes when you weren't accepted
When all you ever wanted to be was loved.
I saw your light dimmer.
Nodding off in the middle of a sentence.
Sweat dripping from your face
Your body shivering
as you say
I want to stop
I don't need it
I'm not addicted
You screamed for someone,
And when that wasn't enough
You stuck the needle in your vein
and you drifted away.
I saw your light go out.
I found you, or an empty shell
where you used to be
The light in your eyes were gone.
The pain you had
no longer in you
But in me
And we all wonder what we could have done different
once it is too late.