Always

February 04, 2025

58 years knowing it

54 years proving it

He has always been there for me

I have always been there for him

In retrospect, the vows were easy

On a daily basis, I had my doubts

Children

Grandchildren

One new great grandchild

Always room for more

Retirement from work

Not retirement from life

Planning more decades

Together

As it should be

Always

TEEK and TEEP

February 03, 2025

I finished reading about the definitions and the symptoms. It is time to cause one to occur.

The officer decided that I was not paying enough respect to his badge. He could not articulate a reasonable suspicion of a crime, so he demanded I leave my car. He argued this was for officer safety. I politely informed the officer that he pulled me over for no reason. I could video this encounter for my safety and I wanted to speak to his supervisor.

He took his baton and broke out my window.

I opened one of his blood vessels in his head initiating a subarachnoid bleed.

He immediately felt the pain.

Carefully, I made the broken glass from my driver’s side window reform so as not to draw suspicion from passersby. With each passing second, the officer found it difficult to remain standing. This type of intracranial hemorrhage deprives the brain of oxygen rich blood required for higher (and lower) thought. His training required him to push the emergency button on his radio. My telekinesis prevented his hand from such an action. He looked at me. I looked at him and smiled. I could have put him out of his misery, but I politely declined. This police officer would suffer for his insolence. He had an ego. Now he has subdural bleeding, pooling, and intense pressure. If someone was present with the skills to diagnose and the tools to drill a cranial hole, relieving said pressure, I would not interfere.

But no such cavalry would come to his rescue. He would die a shriveled man, unrecognizable to his friends or family. I wanted the last thing anyone saw was the anguish this officer displayed on his face. He would lose bowel and urine control, but no one would notice. His face would etch upon their memory forever. I would remain until another arrived. In court, I would delight in narrating my video of his brazen actions and how terrified he made me during my ordeal. I could not care if the judge or the jury believed my testimony. I would not be on trial. I would be a witness to the unfortunate demise of one Sergeant William Goldsmith.

How was your week?

Today, as many days go, I asked those of low moral character to correct themselves and accept their punishment. At the bank, I witnessed a loan officer attempt to foreclose on a house. This made me want to read both their thoughts. The owner was late by one day on her third to the last payment. The loan officer wanted this foreclosure to occur so he could collect a handsome finders fee from a series of contractors who wanted to begin construction on a series of town homes. The home owner would receive but a pittance for her diligence in making 357 timely payments. She insisted she only needed two more days to make the payment. The loan officer did not care. I might not have cared until I saw his smirk. He was literally excited at the thought of financially destroying this woman. His finders fee was a distant second. I had to intervene, and so I did. First, I erased all of his memories of financial gains. Then, I induced him to be more cordial to his clientele. He resisted, at first, but he soon had no other choice. He offered to pay the remaining three payments out of his own pocket. She was too surprised to accept. When he insisted, she became as ecstatic as he was just minutes before.

He could afford nearly $5000 to make amends for his arrogance.

TEEK extended her hand and used her telekinesis to remove the cheap 10K gold ring from her right index finger to give to TEEP. TEEP used her telepathy to distract all within visual range to accept the prize as a token of winning this week’s best use of their ability. Both had achieved a corrective action the wager required. Yet, only one succeeded without the death of he who required correction.

The sisters laughed while formalizing the details of next week’s wager. One corrective action from one deserving person without actually killing them or destroying their lives. The goal was to make them learn.

And to wear the ring for one more week.

tan afamat tan afamada

February 01, 2025

It was the last time I heard her speak.

Few get to hike the Pyrenees from Donostia-San Sebastian to Andorra for a honeymoon. We flew into the airport and found ourselves immediately out of our element. We didn’t speak Spanish. We didn’t speak Basque. We didn’t even know Basque was a language. Or Catalan.

We didn’t care.

Both of us were experienced in camping, climbing, and hiking. I met Heidi while we were both teenagers in high school. We immediately fell in love. We went everywhere together. During college, we climbed Kilimanjaro. On the top, I proposed. She accepted immediately.

Four days ago, we wed in London. Three days ago, we stayed in the Hotel Tres Reyes San Sebastian for the night. Two mornings ago, we packed our gear, said hello to the sunrise, and began walking. We have been hiking ever since.

Heidi wanted to explore only with a compass. The Andorra Palace expected us ten days later. My guess is when we did not arrive, they contacted the authorities. From what you told me, you discovered me at the bottom of a ravine, unconscious with a broken radius and ulna. I do not remember falling. I certainly would have remembered breaking two bones in my arm.

That is all I know about me.

The Officer de Police Judiciaire, OPJ Laurent took careful notes as he readjusted the camera for the third time. I knew he wanted to go over my story again, from the top. I just wanted him to find my wife. Rescuers pulled me out of the mountains, but found no trace of Heidi anywhere. His report includes interviews with a few townspeople we met along the way when we made good use of a mountain road. All seven of them report seeing me. None of the seven saw Heidi. That is their story.

“If you are married, where is your wedding ring?” I told OPJ Laurent that I must have lost it.

“The hotel employees in San Sebastian said they saw your wife check in with you, and leave with you. Once again, did she actually begin hiking with you? Maybe, she changed her mind. Maybe, the two of you had a fight. Newly married couples do fight sometimes. Maybe, just maybe, she decided to take a train or a bus instead.”

He said it as if it actually happened as he said. Nothing could be further from the truth.

For the third time, I told him what I knew about our hike.

On day five, we stopped to make camp adjacent to a small stream and a field of flowers. I collected the water to boil and she wanted to explore the field. When I asked her why, she told me she had never seen such beautiful and unusual flowers. She then told me she would be back in a few minutes.

I gave her those minutes.

I wish I hadn’t.

I began looking for her, following the path she made in the crushed grass of the field. Heidi was careful not to step on any of the flowers. I was not so careful. Something about this field gave me the creeps.

“Pardon. What is creeps?’ This OPJ Laurent interrupted. In the previous two statements, he had never once interrupted me. I explained creeps. He Google translated creeps.

“Ah, fait peur.”

Close enough for me to continue.

It took nearly an hour to find where Heidi’s tracks ended. We (I) were no longer in the field. Her tracks ended on a moss covered embankment. The moss must have been growing for years because it covered dead trees, rocks, the hillside, everything. I found one of Heidi’s boots on the ground, still tied, and kind of slimy. I found another of her boots three feet off of the ground stuck in the moss, almost as if someone had wedged it in there. When I reached for it. I felt an incredible pain in my arm. I pulled back immediately, and turned to run. When I woke up, it was the next morning, the rescue teams found me, stabilized me, and brought me here to you.

I have told you all of this before. Why do you keep asking me for a statement?

OPJ Laurent either could not or would not answer my question. He was a man who knew something, or at least suspected something, but would not tell.

“Until you are told otherwise, we are still detaining you. We will hold your passport and ask that you do not make it more difficult on yourself by attempting to leave. We will pick up your hotel bill until we have finished our investigation.

I am sure he kept videoing me as I departed for the hotel.

Later that week, my father arrived to bring me home. OPJ Laurent was on paid administrative leave, and was not available for comment.

But I was.

During my police interview, I pulled out my small, inconspicuous flip phone and dialed my father. He was smart enough not to speak when he heard the conversation. He was smart enough to record both my conversation with OPJ Laurent and the conversation the good detective had once I departed, leaving the nearly invisible flip phone behind.

“Bonjour, Henri. Nous avons un fauteur de troubles. Ils sont trop gros pour être contrôlés. Commencez à nettoyer le terrain.”

A French judge dismissed my case stating I had no right to record. My transcript was unreadable due to lack of proper accent marks required for an official document of this magnitude.

Google Earth displays a photo of a cleared field. According to Google, no vegetation has ever grown on this field.

Ever.

While passing a flower stand in the airport in Barcelona, I swore I heard a potted Venus Fly Trap speak to me. “Tan afamat tan afamada”.

I knocked it over, stomped on the plant, and paid handsomely for the damages.

It was a long flight home.

Digging in My Backyard

January 31, 2025

Was it a phantasmic terror

Ready to be unleashed?

Or simply the electric company's newest meter

Declaring my bill increased?

Perhaps I stumbled

Upon an alien pod

Or the secret weapon

Of the Israeli Mossad.

Whatever I uncovered

Whatever its inception

I'll wager a sawbuck

It beats my TV's reception.

What is the value of X?

January 30, 2025

Julie didn't want to go to work today. Her boss was nothing short of a hot mess. He gave an order and then another diametrically opposite to the first. If she finished the first, she was in violation of the second. If she even heard the second, she was in violation of the first. Julie learned the phrase, "Damned if you do; Damned if you don't."

Julie tried to appease him before he got mad. It didn't work. "Appeasement never works", she remembered her history lesson about Neville Chamberlain. Everything she did was just wrong.

So Julie quit her job. She had skills. She had talent. She located better employment closer to her home. The hours were better. The pay was the same, but the boss was clearer in his expectations.

Julie loved her new position.

Months later, Julie heard her old boss wasn't even giving directions to the work he wanted accomplished. He omitted key portions of the instructions making any attempt by anyone futile. She thought about this while dining in a nice restaurant, spending some of her bonus money earned that quarter.

Julie never thought of her former employer ever again.

However, if she did, she would have said that OC = AC = AB.

She would wait until they calculated 36 degrees.

Living?

January 29, 2025

I hired a real estate agent to locate a neighbor with lots of homes.

My children wanted to find lots of kids to play with.

I also wanted to live in the Caribbean.

I did not tell him my budget.

He did not ask if Haiti was acceptable.

My payments are quite low.

My house if the one on the left.

My First Time

January 29, 2025

I remember

My first time

Seeing "Star Wars" at the movie theater

Hearing, "Whiter Shade of Pale" on the radio

Reading, "The Manchurian Candidate" in 9th grade

It now makes me think

My first time

Was nothing short of breathtaking

The time it took

The dedication to the craft

And the belief that it was the best

Was nothing short of awe-inspiring

For me

However,

It now makes me wonder

What if I could forget all I know

To re-experience all of this

Again for the first time?

Would I have the same reaction?

Would my rating of a 10 for each

Be (now) an 11?

Or, in my graying years

Would I have no reaction?

Would I turn a cold shoulder

To the preeminence of my youth

That delivered me

To what I have become today?

Vegas odds makers have the later at even money

But, my ego loves a long shot

The best is by very definition the best

And, "This is Spinal Tap"

Should not hold a patent on the first

Double digit prime number

So let the experiment begin

I like my odds

She was mine for the taking

January 28, 2025

Tuesday.

Quite an unusual day for a wedding. Clark’s fiance wanted this day because both her mother and grandmother were married on a Tuesday. Their marriages lasted in excess of 40 years. She did not want to break tradition.

I arrived three hours before the ceremony. I always wear a black wool suit with a starched white shirt, and a burgundy tie. Whether it is a funeral or a wedding, I wear this suit. I go for the classic style.

She arrived soon after me. She was the bride’s maid and the bride introduced her to me as Mina. When I had the chance, I looked up the origin of the name. It meant “azure” or ’crystal like”. Her eyes matched her name perfectly. Points for her parents.

Mina was wearing a t-shirt and jeans upon arrival. Within an hour, she was in a formal gown with impeccable hair and makeup. She reintroduced herself, saying that most people could not recognize her once she cleaned up. With those eyes, I could not forget her if I tried.

She turned to walk back to the bride knowing I could not, or would not take my eyes off of her as she moved. The bride chastised Nina for flirting so obviously on her special day. The groom told me Mina was single. My eyes remained on Nina as he dropped this information. He could not blame me for my lack of attention.

Once the ceremony concluded, the bride threw the bouquet, and it was Mina who caught it. Being the only single woman in attendance does have its advantages. I gave a polite round of applause. Mina gave me a more than polite call for action. She walked over to me and asked me to dance. It was not an open invitation. It was more like an order.

And who am I to refuse such an order?

We danced together. We sat and talked for hours. We had a few drinks, a few more dances, and listened to the newly wedded couple make a few double entendres about our budding relationship. Whispers abound when our next dance began slowly and then proceeded to evolve into something far more risque. Mina began to bump and grind, often pulling me toward some poorly lit area to advance her narrative. When she leaned in to whisper in my ear, she probed it (instead) with her tongue. I heard her message clearly. While her lips never said, “No”, her eyes screamed, “Yes.” Mina was a tiger and I was to be her prey.

I gave a few goodbyes and departed for my hotel room with Mina in tow. In the lobby, she told me that she forgot to say goodbye to the bride. I told her I would wait for her return.

I am still waiting as the police take my statement.

It seems, Mina is as well adept at being a bridesmaid as she is at being a pickpocket. By the time I figured out her deception, she was long gone. My Porsche was long gone. My credit cards suffered the same fate. In all, I lost nearly a quarter million dollars that night.

The bride lost a friend and a coworker.

Those still in attendance checked their accounts only to find each intact.

Mina was mine for the taking, but I was the only one who was taken.

I Knew Her as Sophia

January 26, 2025

Rarely does someone catch my eye as Sophia did. She was difficult to explain, even more difficult to describe.

I did not know her real name, so I invented her nom de plume for the purposes of this narrative.

Sophia wore green lipstick.

She might have been naked and no one would have noticed. That green lipstick captured the imagination of all within visual range.

I met Sophia in a bank, while waiting in line. She entered wearing a black coat. Her heels clicked against the marble floor, drawing the attention of those not fully engrossed with their cell phones to look.

I looked. Others looked.

They saw her green lipstick. That is all they saw. I listened to the police at the conclusion of her armed robbery, interviewing everyone who encountered her. They all agreed upon the green lipstick.

They could not agree on anything else.

At that time, I declined to add my observations to the final report.

Sophia went to the teller and handed her a note. She must have carried a firearm with her to commit such a brazen act in front of scores of witnesses.

No one spoke of ever seeing a firearm.

The teller reported electronically transferring $78000 from one account to another. The police would eventually learn that both accounts were held by the same person who had died two days before. So, in essence, there was no robbery. There was no crime. Sophia initiated a bank transfer, nothing else.

But, the Bank Manager said he called the police. The police arrived, with guns in hand. Everyone was told to get down. One at a time, a detective ordered each customer to stand up and keep their hands up. Once patted down, they ushered the customer to a desk and began taking both their ID and their statement about Sophia and her non-crime.

This took a mere ten minutes before the detectives cleared the scene and apologized for the inconvenience.

I had only a debit card to show them for my ID. I never carry anything more unless I am driving or going to make a very large transaction. The detective was not pleased with me. He should have been very annoyed when I would not answer his questions. He seemed to be on the clock, constantly checking the time, as if he had somewhere to go.

Or someone to meet.

It took another two minutes before another group of police arrived at the same bank, with guns drawn, ordering everyone to get down. The confusion of the customers extended the duration in which the police were required to secure the scene and begin their investigation.

A million thoughts ran through my mind as I tried to think of exactly what just happened and why it happened.

I have come to the conclusion that the woman I call Sophia was indeed a bank robber. However, she wasn’t the only bank robber that day. The first group of police were also bank robbers. They were also identity thieves. By noon, everyone who had produced ID had their identity stolen, their funds stolen, their credit cards maxed out, new credit cards issued to them and maxed out, and a new criminal record issued.

I managed to freeze my debit card and credit cards before I became a victim (smartphones are good for something). I also spoke to a detective about the remaining bank robber who did not leave.

The Bank Manager said he called the police. That he did. Yet, he never said when he called the police. The first group arrived too early. The second group (the real police) arrived too late.

I believe the call came in after the first were leaving, not before they arrived.

The real police detective began believing me also.

Once pressured, the Bank Manager gave up his comrades for a deal that the local news could not verify even by the time of the trial, four months later.

Where does that leave Sophia?

As a Bank Examiner, I have a hypothesis not to where Sophia is, but to where the $78000 of transferred money is. For a teller to begin such a transfer, they have to enter their password, then the account numbers. Sophia provided the account numbers, but not the password. The teller did that. But what if this was the plan from the start? What if the robbery and ID theft was a smaller part of something much larger? Where did Sophia and her green lipstick go? She went with the money. All of the money. Every account from every account holder into a single account, all within a few seconds of Sophia leaving the bank.

The forensic account experts said that once one transfer is complete, thousands more begin to make the probability of tracing any of the transfers impossible.

Sophia’s name never came up during the trial. No one could describe her for a visual. All anyone could remember was her green lipstick.

And not her $110 million dollar payday.

The Forest for the Trees

January 26, 2025

Sadly,

She knew her mistakes were her own

In retrospect,

She could now clearly understand

But if she knew then

What she knew now

Things would be different

Much different

Jeff may not have left

So early in their marriage

He might not

Have left at all

As it was

He left her with nothing

No house, no job,

And no child to call her own

Mark would have treated her

The way she dreamed

She should be treated

Alas, she never treated Mark

The way he needed

To be treated

Once again, alone

All alone

At least she did not marry Stan

His wife would not

Have permitted that

The sex was great

The miscarriage was not

The title, “Stan’s Wife”

Was not her title to hold

It never really could be

So, she sits by herself

Watching the night time sky

Become the day time sky

She has done this nearly

10000 times in a row

The next one may be her last

She can see the irony of it all

Now that she no longer sees the trees