I walk

and the line

isn't exactly straight

i cry

and the tears

aren’t exactly new

i reach

and the distance

isn’t exactly short

But I walk

and is isn’t

exactly safe

and I’ll be glad

when

im home

You only

Ever

Had to say

One

Word

Stay

I believed in you

And you believed in me

And we made

The impossible

Possible

Could that be a thing?

You are a light in my life

Shining brightest

When the darkness surrounds me

You are a deep breath

When I can scarcely

Remember to breathe

You are an exit sign

When I am fumbling around

Searching for a way out

You are a brilliant smile

When I’m trapped

By frowning faces

You are a beautiful future

When my painful past

Rears its ugly head

You are healing hands

On a heart

So full of shrapnel

You are shifting me

From my negativity bias

Allowing hope to grow

You are right

If you think this poem

Is about you

But not the same again

I just pray

There'll be a day

When I see you smile

One last time

Of my story

Which just started

With felony charges

I'm terrified

It's going to end

With me down a child

The only thing

I can think to do

Is love him more

But

I can't

Even

Find him

My whole heart

My whole world

My raison d'etre

I can't find it

To hold him

And remind him

IT WILL BE OKAY

I don't know how to do this

But

I guess

That's been the story of my life

Now hasn't it

I'm ready-made to be there for you through your hard times. Aside from possessing all of the unconditional love of being your mother, my life has hurt more than you can imagine at your age and experience. I know how to navigate the emptiness and the largeness of these heart-wrenching moments. I know how to not drown.

I know you are feeling alone because it's what I lived when I was your age, in this type of circumstance. I know a path that made the dark times darker, and I'm scared that's where you're headed (or are). I didn't know what it was like to have someone who could hear, who could understand, who even wanted to listen (without an ulterior motive). More than anything in the world, I wish you could know me right now. It's my whole job to be here for you. And I am.

I just wish you could see it.

I love you.

Mama

I was on a Zoom with some friends and the prompt was to write about what we imagine America will look like in four years but try to put a positive spin on it. Here's what I wrote.

Society

More resilient

Than we think

Decided

To take a stand

Against tyranny

And a crumbling

Of the foundations

Of democracy

More and more politicians

Resemble their constitituents

More and more hope

Was sewn

Back into the fabric

Of our society

Not that the path

Was easy

Misstep

After misstep

Caused those masses

To see through it all

To the detriment

Of global opinion

But we're a country

Of survivors

Innovators

And artists

And our soul

Cannot be crushed

So easily.

Most of what I write

It seems to me

Is so shallow

And devoid

Of sacrifice

I'm pretty sure

Though

I'm not shallow

And I know

How to sacrifice

So why

Is there

This disconnect?