when i tell people i'm apathetic, they'll say some shit like "no, I've seen you get angry, be happy, upset" and shit like that. That doesn't mean anything

when i say i'm apathetic, i mean that most days someone could come up and murder me and i don't really give a shit as long as the death is quick and my corpse doesn't look too fucked up

i mean it when i say i'm okay with dying because i know that people would miss me but i always think "i'm dead so it's not my fucking problem if they're sad"

i feel basically nothing when i see horrible things happen in the world because why expect something good to happen? if something good happens, it's a pleasant surprised, but if something awful happens, it's just another tuesday.

i was like this in high school too. i'm in college now, and i don't see the point in giving a real shit. people are those toys you have as children, because even if you're attached to some of them, they'll either break and get replaced or you'll get older and toss them somewhere you don't have to see them

i want to sink my teeth into your skin

let me taste your blood, please?

i don't care if it's weird

i want it

why am i crying

why am i crying

it's sweat it's sweat it's sweat

The body was more or less untouched, the only trace of violence was the bruises around their neck. I caused those bruises, and I'm okay with that. At first, I placed their body in an arm chair, where they laze about as if their were alive albeit tired.

I honestly just threw them on the chair because I didn't know what else to do. I had never taken another persons life until then, and I was calm but still naive, unaware of how to dispose of a corpse.

While I was fucking around, avoiding responsibility, and I became hungry. I left my cold guest sitting at the kitchen table while I made my way to the fridge.

I didn't have much. I didn't want borderline spoiled milk with stale cereal, nor did I feel like boiling pasta while a cadaver watched me.

The fridge closed and I got an idea. I had spices in the cabinet, a saw in the garage and a large source of meat with no purpose sitting at my table.

I had gotten an idea to solve both my problems. I has able to eat and solve everything.

It was under the leaves. Buried underneath the gold and brown, I could no longer see it but I knew it was under there, and no longer breathing.

The smell of burning leaves was awful. It made my eyes water and bile was the primary taste in my mouth. I don't know, actually, if that was because of the leaves or who was burning under them.

Love is like the wind

Free-falling and billowing around us

Hold on tight to me as we see the view from halfway down

The setting sun painting us in gold

Love is like the bright lights on the ground

Closer to us by the second

Love is letting go of this life

Right now it is warm, but it will soon turn cold

i am drowning in the lake

my hand reaches for the sky

but i am trapped in the water

i cannot move or wake

my lungs can't get air no matter how hard i try

I'll continue to suffocate like a fish to the slaughter

Everyone is dying and burning and there's nothing I can do

I'm not being cynical right now, this is pure fact

The world is on fire so I'll roast a marshmallow

Have s'mores with the people who aren't burnt corpses

If it's fucked, what can we do? Screwed is screwed.

Let's dance around the fire, tell stories and have fun

Until it decides to consume us

Hopeless romantics will always stay that way in real life

Life is not a romcom or fairytale

The perfect relationship with no bumps or falls

I hate to break it to you, but they'll always fail

It's okay to dream and yearn

But don't drag others into that fantasy

Because no one can act the exact way you want them to

And trying to force that will end in travesty

Be real, you're not asleep when you walk the Earth

Think your actions through, because everyone needs to think

You can have hope in romance but remember it takes more than one

You can get your relationships but don't let it easily sink

I smiled instead of frowned. This song playing wasn't upbeat per say, in fact, it was kind of menacing. But the wind whistling through the windows went well with the tone.

Instead of mourning the time we no longer had, I cherished the times we spent together.

You crossed my mind as I drove along the deserted road because this was a song I could see playing in the background while we were together. I don't know if we were good for anyone in those moments, and I don't know if we're better now.

But with the windows down and the endless roads, I have time to think.