"Wait, I thought Genies only had three rules!"

"Well, we did, but it's been thousands of years. Generations of you humans trying to make loopholes. Don't blame me for the 100 rules, blame them."

“Ok… Well, what are they?”

“Well you have your standard starting four….

You get three wishes

No killing anyone

No making people fall in love with you

And no bringing people back from the dead”

“Right, everyone knows those.”

“Those were the only three rules for centuries. Then you humans started to get ‘clever’ with it. So now there's more.”

“And those are?”

“Well if you don't interrupt me we’d be payday through it already wouldn't we? Alright! These were all added so that the thing happened, so try to keep up.

No writing more than one wish down on a piece of paper and then wishing for ‘everything on this paper’ to happen or come true

No using AND during your wish to make multiple wishes one wish

No writing more than one wish on anything and then wishing for ‘everything I wrote down’ to happen or come true

No wishing for your ‘perfect partner’

No making a ‘perfect partner’

No wishing for people to say ‘yes’ to everything you ask

No wishing for infinite wishes

No listing more than one wish and then wishing for ‘everything you just listed’ to happen or come true

No test wishes

No, making a wish and then taking it back to get the wish back

No take-backsies, some guy insisted there was a difference,e and now it is a rule

No creating alternate realities

No creating parallel realities

No creating other realities

No creating alternate dimensions

No creating parallel dimensions

No creating other dimensions

No bringing creatures from other dimensions here

No bringing people from other dimensions here

No bringing things from other dimensions here

No bringing creatures from other realities here

No bringing people from other realities here

No bringing things from other realities here

No making clones of yourself

No making clones of other people

No making clones of other creatures

No making copies of yourself

No making copies of other people

No making copies of other creatures

No wishing to become a god

No wishing for godly powers

No wishing for godly control over others

No wishing to become a genie

No wishing for time magic, the time gods are still very pissed off about what happened last time…

No wishing for infinite powers

No wishing for the power to grant your wishes like a genie

No wishing for more genies

No making copies of a genie

No making infinite genies

No wishing to know where to find other genies

No wishing to change the wish rules

No wishing to get rid of the wish rules

No wishing to make an exception to the wish rules

No wishing for immortality

No wishing for other people’s immortality

No wishing for the planets’ immortality

No wishing for the solar systems’ immortality

No wishing for the dimensions’ immortality

No wishing for the realities’ immortality

No making alternate timelines

No making parallel timelines

No altering the timeline

No altering the alternate timelines

No altering the parallel timelines

No going to alternate timelines

No going to parallel timelines

No destroying alternate timelines

No theory ign parallel timelines

No destroying alternate realities

No destroying parallel dimensions

No destroying alternate dimensions

No destroying parallel realities

No going to alternate realities

No going to parallel dimensions

No mind control

No will control

No time travel, again another guy said it was different, and now it is a rule

No asking for a person to die

No wishing for someone else to kill someone

No wishing for someone else to die

No wishing for a ‘death note’

No wishing for anime magical objects

No wishing for anime ‘power-up’ objects

No, becoming a magical girl that one didn't sound bad but it was…. It was…

No messing with the spirit world

No controlling spirits, and exorcisms are allowed but that's it

No wishing to ‘control time’

No wishing to ‘become an eldritch being’

No wishing for a pen that makes anything you write come true

No wishing for a computer that makes everything you write/type come true

No wishing for a keyboard that makes everything you write/type come true

No, wishing for typewriting that makes everything you write/type come true

No wishing for a pencil that makes everything you write come true

No wishing for a marker that makes everything you write come true

No wishing for a morse code machine that makes everything you put into code come true

No wishing for a god to be your pet

No wishing for a god to be your slave

No wishing for a goddess to be your pet

No wishing for a goddess to be your slave

No wishing for another person to be your pet

No wishing for another person to be your slave”

“I'm sorr, why the pet thing?”

“Some weird girl insisted that if a being was her pet then they had to do whatever she commanded them to, it was a loophole to the slave thing.”

“Oh, yeah that makes sense. Please continue”

“Glad you agree, we were all very… disturbed about that particular one…

No wishing for an eldritch being to be your pet

No wishing for an eldritch being to be your slave

No creating gods

No creating goddesses

No creating eldritch beings

And that's it… so far.”

“Well then fine! I wish for more Wishes!”

“Yeah you can't do that, that's the baseline agreement dude.”

“Well you didn't list it in the rules!”

“I'm going back into the lamp now.”

“Well, what can I do?!”

“You can make it so your pets live for as long as you do, never feel pain or suffering, and only die a peaceful and painless death alongside you.”

I've been ‘working’ in this vampire palace since I was fourteen. I had run away from home, a nice three bed two bath house in standard suburbia, when I tripped and fell and hit my head hard. When I woke up I was no longer in modern-day 2025, but in whatever wifi-forsaken land this is.

No electricity, no standard of writing, no internet, no way to get home.

At some point, while I was wandering I was kidnapped by a hoard of vampires and taken to their lord’s palace home, where I was made to work.

I started as a maid. Dusting shelves, sweeping rooms, mopping floors, making beds, all that stuff. Then some kind of flu went through the washroom people and I was brought down there to help out while they recovered. I washed clothes bedding and linens, all of which were covered in a concerning amount of blood.

At some point while I was down there a kitchen girl or two had been…. Made unable to work. The head laundress told the head chef that I was ‘a decent boy with a good enough head on his shoulders!’ and sent off to cover for them.

All those hours upon hours I spent with my grandmothers and aunties and my mother in the kitchen paid off.

I could chop, skin, fillet, fry, boil, sear, stew, mash, blend, saute, and cook my way through every dish without any of the other girls watching my every move.

The chef liked me very much and started putting me to work in the more difficult parts of the kitchen where she wouldn't have to instruct me when some new ‘hires’ came in.

At some point, now sixteen, I was charged with making our Lord’s luncheon. He didn't often take his meals by himself, vampires here don't eat to survive… it's more of an aesthetics thing for dinner parties. But now and then our Vampiric Lord would just ask to have something served to him in his private study for lunch.

The chef was already stressed out enough, we had lost a good chunk of our kitchen staff due to an… incident with some hungry vampire knights, and the new hires were clueless, to say the least. So she had me handle it and told me to just whip up something like I usually did because they always seemed to like it.

We didn't have much on hand at the moment, our restocking guy had been a part of the incident so we were a bit behind. But I was used to making meals out of leftovers.

I made quite a few things for him, a good spread that my grandmother would be proud of, a part of that was a classic Choy Sum dish. We had a lot of leafy things around that needed to be used, and so I used them.

In the middle of stir-frying them, I noticed that something was missing, and without thinking I just added a little this and a little that. Just until it tasted right.

And then I played it and brought it up to his study by myself.

This was unusual because we usually had the maids do this part but again hungry vampire knights against a wholly human staff.

I was guided there by one of the vampiric staff, some butler guy who was a low-level vampire. He let me into our Lord's study before darting off.

I put the food down and just stood in the corner waiting for him to be done with it so I could clean up, a training bit I learned from my cleaning days.

He seemed to like it all, he was digging in and cleaning all the plates. I was proud of myself, after all this guy was like centuries old and he had tasted a lot of cooking.

It wasn't until he dug into the Choy Sum that I realized just what I had put into it earlier.

I like things garlicky ok!? I kind of just forgot that it killed these guys!

He stuffed a whole forkful of it into his mouth, right before I was about to warn him that maybe it wasn't a good idea.

I think I stood there for a solid 5 minutes with my jaw hanging open like an idiot until he turned to me.

"Mortal, this is quite delicious! May I know what it is called?"

I just stared at him, either in horror or confusion I don't know.

“Mortal? Are you alright?”

Yeah. These vampires and the vampires from novels in the modern world are not completely the same. Garlic is just a common allergy for them, one that the guy I served just didn't have for some reason.

Now I'm his chef and he insists I ‘make more things from the land that cooked salad was from’

So now I just make a very powerful vampire Chinese cuisine that my grandmother and aunties and mom taught me, absolutely loaded with garlic at his request.

CW: Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Kidnapping, unwanted relationship

Two great kingdoms engaged in a years-long battle is a bloody and gruesome affair.

I, the only child of my parents and the prince of my glorious kingdom, was leading my troops in battle as I had been for the last half-decade.

The other side's leader, a young king perhaps five or so years older than I. He was fighting alongside his troops, leading them to victory after victory against my own.

A final stand was necessary, and when we two finally met on the battlefield our swords slammed into each other as I tried to kill him. As I tried to truly win this war.

I did not think that when he got rid of my weapon and had me on my knees, gravely injured before him, I would live.

When I saw his deranged smirk as he lifted his sword above my head and it came down and spun me I did not think of anything but my failure as I died.

But then I awoke. In Great pain, but in a large and comfy bed.

Had we won?

No. We were in my palace, my butler since childhood had quickly informed me, when he noticed that I was awake as he had been taken with watching over my recovery, that we had lost and that the king had spared me.

My parents were alive and anyone from my kingdoms who didn’t try to fight back was as well. The king had simply knocked me out cold combined with my injuries from that battle and ones prior I was out for a week or so.

Enough time for my parents to be thrown into dungeons, enough time for him to start establishing his court here so he could leave a puppet government to run things when he returned home.

“What does he want with me?”

It didn’t make sense. Why leave the only heir alive? I was his greatest obstacle in holding my kingdom hostage.

“You’re more useful to me than a pretty thing.” I whipped around, staring at him as he took up the entity to free the doorway, “besides, the common people tend to fall into line when there are alliances.”

“We will have no Alliance with you!” I tried to stand, to fight him again, but I just collapsed as soon as I got to my feet.

He just chuckled and caught me as I fell, holding me close to him. “Now, let’s not do anything extreme. Hm? Your parents and I have been having talks. So long as I let them live and don’t slaughter your people to take control they’re willing to give me anything I want.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“I’m insulted you don’t remember…” he frowned, green eyes narrowing as he seemed to stare off past me. “Nevertheless, you’ll come around soon enough. Royal brides are hardly ever happy at the start of the marriage anyways.”

When people hear stories of children being snatched out of their houses or off of the streets by demons, they think of little ones being tortured or eaten, they think of children enslaved for evil.

They would never think that the hulking-eyed figure who slips unseen into houses to take children from their beds, or the too-long shadow who steals children out of the gutter would want nothing else than to be a father.

Yes. For his very very long immortal life, my father, a demon, has been stealing children from anywhere and raising them as his own.

I was his first daughter. And my little brothers were his first set of twins.

He usually doesn’t have more than four or five children at once, he says it’s because he wishes to give us all of his attention and time, and having too many children will take away from them.

And he wants nothing else than for his children to have a good life. He may want children, and he would love to have as many as possible, but he will never put his wants above our own.

He has been taking children for years now, though I call it saving them.

He observes families, watching for ill behavior towards the little ones. Starving them, hitting them, neglecting them, forcing them to work near to death, and any other form of harm. If he sees any of it he will slip in and take them away.

I remember falling asleep, belly hurting from days without food, on a soaking and dirty pile of muddy straw in the corner. But when I woke up I was all clean and on the softest and warmest bed I had never even dared to think of. There was so much food, enough to feed a village.

He will watch villages and towns and cities, searching for children set out into the cold. Looking for the abandoned or the orphaned.

The twins were left without family, they had been living with their parents in a house in the woods, but after both of them died in the winter no one from the village would help them. The two were homeless for weeks before the father showed up and brought them back home.

A demon may not be your first thought of the most brilliant father, but he is for my siblings and me.

The world of mirrors is odd. When we look at them all we see is our reflection, our identical copy staring back at us from the glass.

And while they truly are won on the other side of it, mimicking us to give us the illusion. They do not truly look like us at all.

The world of mirrors reflects not only our outer appearance but our inner ones as well.

Our greatest sins, our greatest desires, what we truly think is what the ‘us’ of the mirror world looks like.

The ever-watchful bodyguard may have six sets of eyes in place of the usual one, due to his ever-watchfulness and careful mannerisms.

Those who wish to be other than the body they were born in will have a mirror version that is true to that.

The child who loves nothing more than dragons will never know that on the other side of the glass is another of themselves with scales along their skin and tiny dragon wings.

The girl who hoards glittering treasure and books and little things that have no value but to her will have a self beyond the mirror with her black eyes and iridescent black feathers in her hair and along her clothes.

The mirror world shows us what others see, our outward appearance.

But those within the mirror world know just who we are, mimicking us from behind the glass as their physical forms show our true selves.

A blast of frost ray at him. Lilith takes the chance of Nox’s distraction, as he directs his attention to the two wounded party members, to fire off another slew of arrows at him, each of them hitting their mark.

Bludgeoning manages to revive Brutus by using one of his healing spells, bringing her back to consciousness just in time to dodge out of the way as the Bed-Dragon uses its breath attack which sends waves of splinters out across the room. Lilith and the newly awake Brutus were able to move out of the way without a moment to spare, however, Quincy who was still recovering from his fall and the Frost Ray got hit full force with it, knocking him to the ground again as he barely held onto consciousness.

Brutus, seeing the direness of the situation, throws Blugdy across the room towards Quincy hoping that the plant blob has another healing spell prepared, while she turns to use her breath weapon on the wooden beast and the Wizard before her. Lilith takes the chance to notch more arrows, aiming for the Bed-Dragon and taking fire, they land but they anger the creature greatly.

Brutus’ attempt to use her poison breath weapon fails, meaning both she and Lilith have to dodge another round of frost rays and waves of sharpened splinters flying through the air.

Quincy, who has only just come back to the land of the wakeful, gets hit full force with both of these attacks again. Barely holding on he makes one last desperate attempt at winning the fight, standing up and slowly approaching the Bed-Dragon with his hand outstretched; as one would approach a frightened horse. (ironically he was trying to pull a Horser, pity, and gentleness to tame things.)

This fails, another attack sending Quincy flying yet again. However, Lillith and Brutus are finally able to finish off the Evil Wizard Nox, causing the Bed-Dragon to release Sheep-Bright and flee through the roof, its figure disappearing into the horizon.

The group frees Sheep-Bright from his cage and they turn to the long gnarled branch that he tells them is the Wand of Polymorph.

The three converse for quite some time on who of the three of them should use the wand to free Sheep-Bright from his wooly prison, and decide that Brutus is the right choice.

As a Dragonborn, especially one with Green Dragon ancestry, she is most equipped to handle this kind of magic out of the three of them. She takes the wand and swings it the same way Quincy recalls Nox doing when he changed his bed into the Bed-Dragon.

After two tries, on the third swing and enchantment, a bright blinding light bursts forth from the wand and it shatters into thousands of pieces.

When the light clears and the three can see again after being blinded, they see an old and wild-haired man in front of them. The great Wizard Shinebright! (or that's what he declares he is.)

After he stiffs them of their promised pay claiming that they destroyed his life’s work when the wand shattered, the three leave the tower snatching some things here and there on their way out.

As they go back down through the tower the party sees that the Gorilla man and the two polymorphed Chimpanzees are back to their human form.

“Wait… Wait no!” Brutus cries, bolting outside to check on her precious wolf pets she had only just gotten. “NO!!!!”

When she reached the bushes she saw two humans, a man and a woman, who had on the two necklaces that she and Bludgy had given them as collars.

“It was nice knowing you…” the man murmured quietly

“If we were still wolves we would stay with you, but now that we’re human again we have lives to get back to…” The woman gently put her hand on a sobbing Brutus’ shoulder, trying to lessen the blow of their transformation. “And…”

“We found someone that you might be able to help, like how you helped us.” The man carefully picked up a fluffy black mass from the underbrush, handing over a small dire-wolf puppy to the bereaved Dragonborn.

He was the cutest thing. With big blue eyes and the softest midnight black fur with silver tufts on his ears, muzzle, and feet.

“He… HE PERFECT!” She wailed again, holding the puppy tight to her as the two humans, Blugdy, and Lillith tried to calm her down again.

Quincy made his usual quick exit. The last time he had been around the dragonborn when she was upset he had nearly been eaten alive, so it was better to get out now while he had all of his limbs firmly attached to him.

It was nearing the afternoon while he was crossing a large grassy field when he saw the oddest shadow appear on the ground before him.

It looked like a tiny dragon’s shadow, though it grew larger and larger until it seemed to blot out the sun from behind him.

Quincy quickly drew his axe and whipped around the face the scaled beast that was surely about to pluck him off the ground for its meal, only to be met by a large Full-sized bed (the comfiest he had ever seen before) in the field right behind him.

“What the….”

The Bed-Dragon slides up, bursting through the bedroom ceiling and crashing back down through the workshops, its long wooden talons grabbing the cage where Sheepbright is being held.

Brutus attempts to lunge at the flying bed, its pillowed trial hitting her hard and sending her flying into the wall. When she hits the floor again she's unconscious, with Bloody panicking over her.

Lilith quickly draws her bow, releasing a slew of arrows into the Wizard Nox having to dodge to avoid the blasts of frost ray that he sends out across the room.

Quincy bursts out of the bedroom, throwing his frog onto the bed-dragon in an attempt to get to Nox, but the frog is knocked away as well disappearing when it hits the wall and turning back into the jade statue. Quincy takes his great axe and goes to swing at the long wooden tail of the beast, tripping over the unconscious Brutus and landing face first onto the floor, unable to move out of the way in timeandd Nox sends out another.

I've seen hundreds upon hundreds of creatures pass through me.

I am the mist that rolls over the hills over yonder, I am the hills over yonder, I am the fields they surround, I am the grass, I am the mud, I am the bright blue sky, I am the storm that rolls through.

I am many things’ home and I am many things’ dying place.

When I was a baby, dragons and elves and fairies and gnomes and dwarves and all other sorts of magic creatures roamed about me. When I was a bit older the first of men came in, men of the mortal kind. After they arrived my clean soils were bathed in blood, my flowers were dyed by it, my soil was muddied by it, my skies took it in and spat it back out as bloody red rains.

There was a great war between a child and an adult. My awkward years were filled with the strife, the struggle, and the screams of those who had once lived joyfully on my lands.

The Dragons, unicorns, Fae, griffons, satyr, pamola, and hoodoo were all hunted until extinction.

The elves, dwarves, gnomes, mermaids, sirens, goblins, orcs, and the Alkonost were driven from their homes amongst my forests, fields, and caves.

They hunted, drove off, enslaved, and displayed all that had once lived in peace upon me.

And once they were done with them, mankind came after me.

They came after my forests, my trees, my flowers, my grass.

They went after my soils, my fields, my mountains, my shores.

They took my ores, my waters, my resources, my air.

They stole from me, took it all, and then they polluted me.

My once clean air is now grey and hard to breathe.

My once crystal-like water is now murky and filthy.

My once towering mountains are now nothing more than molehills.

My once rolling fields are now nothing but trash piles.

I had been beautiful in childhood, loving to watch over and admire those who lived on me.

I am now marred and scared, and I cannot wait for these to die off.

“When I made this thing, none of this was my intention. It was just a little side project, one of the ones that never really goes anywhere.” Kavi sighed, burying his head into his hands.

“What even is this?” The Crown Prince of the kingdom, Ronen, held the tiny weapon that Kavi had spent the past few months working on.

“I don’t even know! And now all of this is happening and I just can't handle it all!” the blacksmith’s son wailed.

Ever since he had finished the darned thing he had been bombarded by every sort of creature.

First, a silver-skinned maiden came by, asking after the tool. Kavi had didn't even tell anyone about it at that point and was very confused about how she knew about it and what she even was. Her hair seemed to float and blow about her as if there were the wind, but the day had been calm, and there wasn't even a breeze to cool the blistering smithy. Her eyes were silver and she had cat-like irises, and her ears while mostly hidden in her hair seemed to be finned as if they belonged to a fish.

Kavi had turned her away and she had left without a fuss, but she was the first of many.

Then the waves of them came. The local priest said it was mainly lesser beings, such as low-ranking demons and angels and fairies that came one after another. Kavi had to deal with at least two or three of them per day.

That lasted for about a month, magical creatures of a slowly greater variety coming one after another. Then earlier this week it got worse.

A tanned man with soft black hair and soft black eyes had stopped by the smithy asking after him. His voice was melodic, his words were charming, and his eyes were hypnotizing. He offered Kavi a wonderful deal, Give him the weapon he had made, and the handsome mystery man would pay an astounding dowry and marry him. He would make Kavii his head consort.

This man was interpreted by another bursting through the door, demanding to speak with Kavi and all but throwing the first man out of the shop. He had pale porcelain skin, silky soft hair, and what almost looked like gold in his eyes. He offered Kavi the most brilliant enlightenment and entirety by his side as a king if only the blacksmith gave him the weapon he had made.

This man was interrupted by another, who somehow managed to slip Kavi himself into another room without him noticing himself being moved. This man had dark ebony skin, beautiful golden eyes that seemed to sing, and long curling hair. His cloak looked so beautifully delicate, with pattern-like butterfly wings on its silk. He offered Kavi the opportunity to be his Bride, to rule as queen over his court. He would give Kavi’s families riches beyond any human knowing and would ensure no harm befell them for generations, all in exchange for the weapon Kavi had created.

Then Kavi seemed to teleport out of the back room and into his family’s kitchen, startling his poor mother and sister who both suddenly screamed and fled the room when Kavi and a stranger appeared out of nowhere. This stranger had greyish skin which seemed to shimmer and shine like the moon itself, he had long black hair in a thick braid that reached the floor and his voice was as deep and as calm as the evening sea. He offered Kavi an immortal life, power beyond his imagining, and peace and prosperity for his family for eternity. All in exchange for the weapon Kavi had made.

Now Kavi, while built like a large oak tree with the muscles of a boy who had been working in a busy smithy since he was able to walk, was very very very timid. He may look like a dragon turned man, but he was just like a tiny puppy who was very easily scared by loud noises or too many people looking in his general direction.

To say that he was; frazzled, terrified, confused, concerned, cornered, upset, tired, uncomfortable, frayed, weary, stressed, tense, worn out, on edge, distressed, flustered, alarmed, disturbed, and/or worried was an understatement.

He was very much all of these things, all at once, at a very high intensity.

What most certainly didn't help was that these four specific magical men seemed very insistent on trying to outbid each other for Kavi and his Weapon.

“So…” Ronen looked at Kavi, whose shoulders were shaking as the poor boy finally started to crack under the stress in the palace sitting room, “You’ve come to me for help settling this matter?”

“Yes.” he all but sobbed. Kavi and Ronen may have been around the same age, the smithy being nineteen and Ronen being twenty-two, but the elder (being a prince) was far more experienced in delicately handling stressful situations.

This situation was very stressful and required delicate handling.

As both the local priest and the castle’s High Priestess were able to confirm, Navi was dealing with a group of magical royalty.

The handsome mystery man with tanned skin and soft black hair was a Demon Prince, who very much wanted Kavi’s weapon and was willing to upset his court’s order by making the human his head consort in exchange for a very large dowry to his family.

The man with porcelain skin and gold-flecked eyes was a godling of the birds, one who was more than willing to Kavi the answer to existence itself and make him his immortal spouse in return for Kavi’s weapon.

The ebony-skinned man with the silken butterfly embroidered cloak was a Faerie Prince, one of very high standing. Who would make Kavi his immortal equal, a queen of his court, and give his family prosperity and protection for generations, If only Kavi had given him his weapon.

The stone-skinned, ocean-voice man, was the God of the Moon and Sea who had been originally disinterested in all of this. But after being drawn to the drama by everyone else’s interaction he found that he very much wanted the weapon and was willing to make Kavi his immortal spouse and provide for his family for eternity in return for the weapon.

All four of them were waiting in the other room with the local Preist and the high priestess, Kavi, and Ronen could hear they were arguing from across the palace.

“I see… Well, it seems they won't stop until they get what they want, and once you give in to one of them i’m he should be able to deal with the others for you and your family.”

“But I don't want to be a consort, or get married! I don't even know any of them!”

“I think the Fae is your best bet so far. He was interested in it from the get-go and wants you as an equal and will keep your family safe and provided for, it'ss a wonderful deal.”

“BuI I don't want to get married!” Kavi wailed, tears and snot were streaming down his face when he looked up at the prince again. “All of this just because I made that stupid thing!” he gestured towards the tiny weapon that Ronen still held in his fingertips.

The weapon was a small and hollow tube, just slightly bigger than the blow darts Kavi’s father uses while hunting. One end is pointed and the other is rounded, just slightly inset so that one can press it to release the weapon's ammo. The ammo is stored in a hollow cartridge that has a metal tip that slowly leaks the liquid ammo out of it that is within the hollow body of the weapon’s main part. When the rounded end is clicked (and in previous test models, twisted) the inner cartridge point comes out of the pointed end of the main body, and the black ink ammo is leaked out.

“What is this… even used for?” Ronen stared at the pieces of paper Kavi had demonstrated the weapon on. It wrote like a quill, but it was much smoother far more compact, and less messy.

“I don't even know!”

Lillith and Quincy are in the same big city a few months after their quest for Grammy’s Apple Pie and the subsequent murder of the Wizard Bobby. Quincy is scaling the inner walls of the city, attempting to break into the armory of the city guards which is attached to the Inner Wall, Lilith is enjoying a sunny day in the open-air market that's on the edge of the inner city limits.

Having successfully scaled the wall Quincy starts to make his way across the vaulted top of the wall’s covering, his Jade Frog Statue falling out of his pocket and straight into the open air market below.

Lilith, going from one stall to the next, takes a break by the wall in order to stay out of the way of the bustling crowds. She feels a sense of foreboding and quickly steps to the side, her hand reaching out as if to see if it's raining when BAM! Quincy’s jade frog statute falls right into her outstretched hand.

Reckoning the statute as the one Quincy gained as a reward for Bobby’s Apple Pie Quest, she looks up and greets her old party member.

With the weather being so nice the two of them decide to go on a picnic in the city's beautiful countryside which is just outside of its walls. Rolling hills, fruit orchids, and a beautiful forest bordering it make for wonderful scenery on a sunny day - Just perfect for a picnic!-

As Lillith and Quincy sit out on a blanket in the sun enjoying their spread of fruits and cheese they are rudely interrupted by a fluffy figure that begins to barrel toward them.

“Is that a sheep?” Quincy barely had time to ask before the raging piece of fluff smacked right into him, knocking him to the side before it continued its rampage all over their picnic lunch.

*Lillith casts Speak With Animals!*

“What are you doing? What's the matter with you!?”

*All Quincy hears is a variety of Baas and Bleets*

“What is the matter!? What is WRONG!?” The sheep rages at the poor elf “I AM A SHEEP THAT IS WHAT’S WRONG!”

The sheep continues ranting, and mentions of ‘the great Wizard Shinebright’ are made often throughout it, however, Quincy is far more interested in the fact that he just understood a sheep.

“How are you speaking!?”

*Lillith does not realize that Shinebright the Sheep is speaking commonly until Quincy’s reaction*

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW AM I SPEAKING!?”

“Wait, is he speaking in a common? Can you understand him?”

“OF COURSE I'M SPEAKING COMMON! I AM THE GREAT WIZARD SHINEBRIGHT!” The talking sheep continues his rant, as Lillith and Quincy meet each other’s gaze and nod, both of them slowly backing up and escaping into the apple orchard nearby.

The two of them are walking through this orchard, both of them befuddled by the talking sheep situation when a familiar voice sounds from the branches above.

“Hey, I know you guys!” Brutus, the green dragon-born, is lazing in the thick foliage of the apple orchard, their plant pet Bludgeoning (or Bludgey for short) sleeping on their arm. “You’re from that weird Wizard Billy Guy!”

“It was Bobby. And yes, we went on that whole weird apple pie quest. Where you pet your plant pet… thing… whatever that thing is.” Quincy sighed, the lizards were always the confusing ones, but she had a lot of good things to swipe, so it was right enough to have her around.

“True, true. So what have you two been up to?”

“Well, we were having a picnic… but then this talking sheep sort of ruined it…” Lilith sighed, she had spent all morning on that sourdough too…

“Talking sheep? I saw one of those earlier. Ran through here all in a huff.”

“I AM RIGHT HERE!” Brutus fell from her branch, startled by the sheep's reappearance. “AND IT IS INCREDIBLY RUDE TO JUST LEAVE ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU!”

“Well, it is incredibly-baa-ly rude to ruin our picnic!” Lillith snapped. She had been looking forward to that sourdough!

“What do you want with us anyways?” Quincy had backed away some more, putting a good distance between himself and the ram-happy sheep.

“I want to be turned back into a human! I am the GREAT WIZARDSHINE BRIGHT and my stupid, traitorous student Nox stole my wand from Polymorph and changed me into this monstrosity!"

“If you're such a great wizard then just change yourself back,” Brutus grumbled as she sorted through her tangled jewelry, wearing ten necklaces at a time was very fashionable but also very difficult to keep untangled.

“One cannot use magic without hands! And this specific spell is only possible with the polymorph wand, a magical breakthrough of my creation! And it's been stolen from me!”

“Then pay someone to steal it back?” the dragon scoffed.

“I do not have access to my funds at the moment. All my money is in my pocket-dimension, which I cannot access without my hands for magicking!"

“So…” Quincy smiled Iff we were to help turn you back, you could access your funds to pay us?”

“Indeed!”

“And how much would you pay us to do this?” Lilith asked, she had already gone through a good bit of the funds from Bobby’s quest and could use a top-off on her wallet.

“60 gold pieces each!”

“I'm in!” Brutus jumped forward, grabbing Sheepbright's hoof and shaking it enthusiastically.

“Wonderful!”

Lilith and Quincy nodded, 60 gold pieces got you somewhere these days and it seemed an easy enough quest. All they had to do was steal a wand from one wizard. Lilith had already killed a wizard, Brutus was a monster tamer, and Quincy was a master thief. This was child’s play for them.

“There he is!”

The three whipped around to find themselves surrounded. Three shadowy figures approached from one end of the orchard and two lumbering ones burst through the undergrowth.

“Grab that sheep! Nox wants him back at the tower.”

“Oh No! They’ve found me!”

The three jump into action, against a half-orc, a brown bear, and what appears to be three wolves. The animals are odd, almost human in the way their eyes are and how they seem to be thinking before they move.

Brutus is the first to act, launching herself at the biggest of the three wolves a -dire wolf- screaming “PUPPY!” as she latches onto it tight, holding on as it kicks and bucks and tries to throw her off.

Lilith goes to notch an arrow, aiming at the half-orc when the Brown Bear lunges in and snatches their golden-sheep in his jaws.

“Dammit! Our payday!” Quincy takes out his Sword and goes to swing at the bear, but is blocked and parried away by the Half-Orc.

Bludgy, Brutus’ blobby plant pet, leaps from her shoulder and onto the second biggest wolf, covering its face and eyes and pulling on its ears. Blinding it and sticking on even as it shakes and sways to rid itself of them.

The third wolf tries to take a bite out of bursts, but with all the swinging and flailing and kicking all it gets is a swift knockout by a kick to the head as Brutus is all but flung off the large dire wolf.

Lilith Keeps loosening arrows into the brown bear, too far to take a good swing at but a good enough shot to get some hits in without harming their new ward.

Quincy on the other hand is now toe to toe with a large half-orc monstrosity. He pulls out his Jade Frog Statue and Summons forth a familiar frog.

Unfortunately, due to the moon phase and humidity, all he can summon is a large-sized toad. However Quincy is a thinker, and he quickly launches it and four more of his frog army right at the half-rocs face dealing some surprising damage while also partially blinding him.

While the half-orc is distracted he takes the opportunity to fire arrows at the uncoinsios wolf, dealing it a swift death.

All the while Brutus and Bludgy have finally been flung off the two remaining wolves, who are furious.

Brutus holds out a beautiful necklace with a giant ruby pendant, a big charming smile on her face as she holds it out to the she-wolf before her. “Eh? It's all shiny and pretty! Just for you~”

Bludgy meanwhile is doing something similar, having already tried stuffing gold pieces into the wolf's mouth (they think gold is food and they were trying to feed it. Brutus needs to break them of that habit…) and they were not mimicking Brutus, holding up a large sapphire pendant and making little “ooh~ Ahh~ ooooh~”s at the fluffy beast before them.

Both Brutus and Bludgy (in yet another DM headache but also a celebration-causing moment) can charm both the wolves into being their friends, winning the party two more allies.

Lilith, having finally done enough damage to impair the bear’s movement, takes out her longsword and with a single swing cuts off its head freeing Sheepbright.

However Quincy and his frogs can only do so much, and the half-orc can free himself of their slimy grasp before grabbing sheepbright and making his getaway.

“Dangit! He took our sheep wallet!” Quincy kicks the ground, quickly turning around to gather up his frogs.

“Should we go after them?” Lilith looks from the carriage of the battlefield and of Brutus’ new friendships to the fading figure of the half-orc and sheepbright.

“It's 60 gold. I don't know about you but I need that.”

“Same here. Brutus! Let's go!” Lilith and Quincy head off, Brutus and her two new wolves following quickly behind.

The three (plus one plant blob thing and two wolves) finally make their way to the tower of the Wizard Nox.

It wasn't much of a wizard's tower. More like three circular rooms stacked on top of each other with a third circular room attached to the side of the topmost one, all with a pointy roof to finish off.

Outside of the small tower were two apes, both of them playing with giant game pieces in the front yard area.

“What do we do?” Lilith hisses as the three crouch in the bushes. Brutus had sent the wolves off to hide elsewhere in the woods, not wanting them to be involved in the conflict and the three were now going over their options.

“We go in, that's the only way we get the talking sheep. And the wand. Right?”

“If we make too much noise the wizard guy might figure out we’re here, and he might do something to the sheep-wizard,” Lilith whispers, peeking back over the edge of the bush to watch the two chimps.

“We could sneak in. I could climb up the wall and get into that side room on the third floor, the two of you could find a way to sneak in from here.”

“How would we do that Quincy? Just walk in the front door?” Brutus rolled her eyes, scoffing.

“Well… actually, I could cast an invisibility spell. I have a first-level one, pass without a trace.” Lilith smiles and waves her hands around

“Sounds good to me, makes climbing in unnoticed easier.”

“I guess we really will just walk in the front door then.”

*Lillith casts Pass Without a Trace, all party members are now invisible!*

“Alright, I'll see you two at the top!” Quincy quickly ducks away, his large toad familiar clinging to his back as the two of them make quick work of scaling the wall with his wall climbing equipment. He ends up scrambling through the open window, quietly tumbling into what looks like a bedroom with a full-sized bed and a wardrobe. There are only two windows and one door, which is closed.

“Alright buddy, looks like you can fit under that thing. Go ahead and tell me what you see.” the toad familiar croaks softly, squeezing itself underneath the door and into the wizard's workshop on the other side.

When it slips back through a minute later it softly croaks and ribbits what it saw back to him.

A large round room, the ceiling being the pointed part of the roof making it look like the inside of a wizard's hat. The walls are practically suffocating with shelves and hooks and hanging things. A small spindly man is muttering to himself as he frantically moves from one bubbling set of bottles to the next. In the middle there's a smoking cauldron, over which is a suspended cage where a talking sheep is ranting within it. Next to that is a table with a huge oddly contorted branch on it.

“Let's see if we can get him in here…” Quincy hands the toad familiar a bell and sets him next to the door while he takes out his dagger and waits behind it. “Ok buddy, ring that bell and get the wizard in here!”

The bell rings, but nothing happens. The toad tries again, and again, but it seems like whatever magic stuff is happening in the workshop is too loud for that Nox guy to hear. “Dang it. A surprise attack would have solved all of this.”

Lilith and Brutus (and Bludgy) on the other hand quietly make their way inside, passing unseen by the two chimps in the front yard. On the bottom floor, there's a big nest, some chests, and some tables. None of which interest the two girls, so they continue upwards using the stairwell that spirals around the tower on its wall. The two of them make their way up another floor, coming to the living area where Nox’s goons seem to live. There are bunk beds against one wall of the room, a kitchen and dining set up next to that.

There's the half-orc from earlier, bandaged up and sipping a steaming cup of something talking to a gorilla who is cooking on the stovetop.

Lilith and Brutus make their way up the staircase, stopping when they come to the trapdoor that leads to the third floor. It's closed, and to get to the other side they will need to open it, and invisible or not, once they do that they’ll be caught.

The two girls let out war cries -” ARGGGG!” “HIYAA!” the two of them (and again, sludgy) slamming against the trap door, it flies up and then immediately back down. Smacking both of them on the head and sending them back to the second floor where all three of them are now sprawled out before the half-orc and gorilla, now visible to the world as Lillith’s focus breaks and the spell dissipates from the party.

*All party members are now visible*

“Uh.. hi. Do you guys like soft tacos?” Brutus flashes a lop-sided smile as Lilith groans and puts her hands over her face. Just how does she end up with these people in these situations?

“Uhh..” the gorilla looks at his friend and then at the three of them. “What are… ‘soft-tacos’?”

“Only the best food ever! Tell you what, once I finish with my stuff upstairs will make some for you guys!”

“Uh.. yeah. That sounds nice.”

With the enemies charmed the girls, once again, shout out their war cries and burst through the trapdoor! Startling the Wizard Nox. As Brutus goes to lunge at him and as Lillith Notches an arrow into her bow he flees, right into his bedroom.

Quincy, having heard both the first and second attempts of the girls break into the third floor was waiting in the bedroom, ear pressed against the door, was completely caught off guard when the door slammed right into his face knocking him into the wall and then onto the floor.

The Wizard Nox, armed with his stolen and modified Wand of Polymorph Chants the spell and waves his arms around crazily as Quincy watches in horror as his bed cracks and creaks as it seems to spring to life and become… A Bed-Dragon?