my gf
she is so pretty she is so pretty she is so pretty. she has her hair down, and she doesn't like the yellow, half-bleached part of it, the part tucked between her neck and the rest of her hair, but i think it's more than fine. the ends of her hair are pink. she used the last of her pink shampoo yesterday. she smiles and she is just so nice to look at. she is resting her chin on one of her hands. it's a little higher than her chin, maybe her cheekbone. she is wearing her round-lensed glasses that are black and her pink ponytail holder she never takes off. she has her low waisted jeans and her light pink old sneakers. she is wearing her headphones, even though the arms of her glasses are probably making her head hurt. i should learn how to draw just so i can draw her. because words are not precise enough. she is smiling. she is 100% watching bts videos. we stole fuzzy peaches and swedish berries from the cafe and we have two cans of coffee, one of coffee and one of water. she has a black baseball cap from 2013. she probably has leftover eyeliner from yesterday, even though we showered. she is not wearing a bra. she has one ring on i can see and one that might be behind her hair, probably on her thumb. she laughed and her hair swayed at the movement. she is 10000000000% looking at bts. she is so pretty. she is sooo pretty.
chu
today i kissed her in the bookstore aisles next to the horror section and at the sink where she is washing the pan i used to make our noodles and as we walked north because she laughed and when she played the same, most annoying song in the world, because her cramps were bad but she still wanted to be included in cooking, and when she is half-asleep but waking up in the morning
she
i am so pleased to be dating her. she is the greatest writer i know. she is the greatest person i know. i love her. i am so pleased, so pleased, so pleased. i must write so i am not resentful of anything, and life is easy. i will write scripts and trilogies and characters and so will she and i am looking forwards to the future
being kind
she smokes, and i don't, and i wonder if we are different. i wonder if it is too much to overcome. i wonder if wanting is enough. i have never wanted like this. i wonder if i should be more excited. i wonder if i should not be preemptively uneasy. i wonder what lovers feel. is it this? is it less threaded? is it harsher? am i soft? am i too soft? am i too kind?