I remember Pacov
there is war
a mortar embed itself
in our house unexploded
earth seeps blood
ground screams in fear
so many have fallen
running for their lives
without success
cows mooing
time for milking
udder full dangling
water from the well
deep and cold
bread baking
warm slices slathered
fresh lard thick chewy
another bomb blast
gone for good
I've been rethinking
the beauty of living
in self-induced
abuse torment
cutting my inner self
just to watch me bleed
sure there is satisfaction
in the ability to inflict
powerful thoughts
that bend you over
aching gnawing throbbing
palms dripping bleeding heart
there must be more than wallowing
in what's gone for good
gone for good
might become
a new anthem
you are gone from my life for good
Bliss
chicken little said it best
everything that could go
wrong is falling in down
pick a topic any topic
the end of each telling
is doom
external internal
no hiding places exists
from upcoming melee
catastrophe holocaust
no where to get away
no safety
future once was promise
now it holds slow death
think on it
dread fills you with ice
shatters of former self
sharp frigid piercing
I found myself alone smiling
odd thing that
just me and a screen listening
to my words being read like
black velvet over ice on coke
corners of my mouth turned
riding a bicycle
a chuckle gurgle emitting out
fun how you can't feel lonely
with words flooding airwaves
I found myself alone encircled
audio group hug
I didn't win the vagina lottery
wasn't born with one
haven't been able to find one
ready willing able to hold me
even for that little bit of time
for me to spew renew
left to my own devices I fall
on my knees and say words
directed to the vast heavens
take away this blasted curse
send rain wash me
cleanse my aching soul mind
hands clenched white tears
unashamed I can't do it by
myself alone unassisted sole
help help me Rhonda
Abba Hercules Diane
I can't make it one more day
your parenting made me avoid begetting a child
so fierce unforgiving wicked stern easy to anger
belittling scolding "don't speak did i ask you to
your gifts childish poorly constructed garbage
why would you do this god you wretched rag
to be thrown in the fire weeping gnashing teeth
i'll beat god into you yet spare the fucking rod
on your bare bottom get the belt hit him again
i didn't ask to be a mother why are you so needy
get away from me begging to suck my dry nipple
heal yourself go out and play until called to sleep"
I hear your voice still haunting daytime convictions
the specter of your genes tainting my thin blood
made me know I could never do to any poor child
what was done to me by you in the name of love
I was told search out my tribe
I looked around for my people
bulging pale pock marked men
abandoned sad looking rejected
privilege used up by grandpops
in the sixties tiewearing gagged
peace of work success two cars
in tacky tack pastel home plot
planned with no differentiation
now I neither hunted or hunter
vanishing breed going extinct
unnoticed so much the better
what is living without fruitful
multiplying being sought after
admired a blue ribbon winner
my chalky tribe defunct gone
tacky tack lower middle class
disbanded for lack of interest