The Captain’s Song
Her mouth is froth
Cut the ties she flaps
Her wings for me
Pretty as a mayfly
She lets loose
And takes me aback
With how hateful she can be
To the one who taught her to tie her shoes
Wakes the neighbors again
I can only guess at the reason
This time is different, she assures me
She is sure she is dying
For her sins
And then hold her head
Firm and lean over
As I'm supposed to
Tell me everything
It works like a charm
My arms flexed enough
Now, her mind is a child's
So I cradle her and rock
Like a babbling brook
My name is help but
This is nonsense
My love is grown-up and
Seething and gasping
Chomping at the bit
But I tighten the reins
Once, in a moment of human weakness
I stroked her dress
Then I lived to regret
How she cringed because
I singed the edge
Of her nonexistent innocence
All for a selfish request
Because my needs are carnal
Of course hers are heavenly
In any case, I lost
Racked by breathless sobs
Her body grows stiff
Grip loosens momentarily
Rips away
On broken legs
She stomps over and
Falls, clothes catching
Through electric fence
Where young birds nest in briars
...
I told her once of how
My father hugged me
To his chest on days
The wind wasn't in my sail
And I fell out of favor
Her eyes were on me
Nodding supportively
Her feet on my dash
Fingers interlace behind my neck
She was a real woman
When I couldn't be a man
All of a sudden, I wanted a daughter
With her laughter and her sweet neck
In my mind's eye, I saw her
But the baby wasn't real
And what I got was a wreck
A grown man reduced to begging
In our studio apartment
I can't trust her by herself
Bring her takeout
Draw her warm bath
Try to quiet her storm
A knife to her own breast
It's a threat and it works
On my knees in a heartbeat
Snatching her up and consoling
Validating a sickness, fever
Tonight is no different
Sheets wet and ceiling
Close to my nose
She curls up beside me
The angels are near
...
Brother, I go down with my ship
You know where the chest is buried
All I ask is that
You kiss our mother for me
More often than not
You brave the storm just to
Capsize close to shore
The lightkeeper was up all hours
Until the siren's song
Until the siren's song
Until her eyelids fluttered
Until she took me worlds away
Life
It begins with a heartbeat.
Not your own.
Someone else's.
And it's not alone.
The first breath,
The feeling of cold,
The feeling of warmth,
The feeling of love.
Bad things happen.
But you can't tell.
You're just a baby.
For now.
Good things happen.
Colors.
Sounds.
Food.
Curiosity killed the cat.
It almost kills you.
Luckily for all of us,
There's usually someone wiser.
Scramble through early years,
Struggle through teen years,
Trudge through the beginnings of adult life,
And slow to a crawl with age.
Everything goes by so quickly in retrospect.
First field trip.
First dance.
First funeral.
Bad things happen.
Heartbreak.
Poverty.
Depression.
Life kills everyone.
It almost kills you.
Luckily, though,
It is not your time.
Mistakes become scars.
Scars become scars.
They don't change.
They're not supposed to.
Wisdom comes with age,
Pain,
Exhaustion,
But ultimately, joy.
It's a normal day.
Except someone almost dies today.
Luckily for them,
You were someone wiser.
Confusion.
Confusion.
Confusion.
Confusion.
Where am I going?
Where are you going?
Where are we going?
And why?
But you won't find out.
Perhaps nobody finds out.
But you won't figure that out either.
Confusion becomes acceptance.
And once everything has been said and done,
Once life has come and gone,
It is time,
To return to a breath.
This is supposed to be a long poem.
But it's about life.
And life,
Is short.
This is supposed to be a good poem.
But it's about life.
And the word good does not quite fit life.
But neither does bad.
This poem was never supposed to end.
At least, not at the start.
But now I realize,
All good things must end.
And so it ends with a heartbeat.
It's your own.
Your last.
But it's not alone.
Karman
He woke up to a sunny day.
In disguise sees the rain
Tuck the tears away.
He brushed his teeth and washed his face.
Decided that today was a great day to
Clean his soul and his place.
No sage needed, just to pray.
Goes to the store, he bumps into a lady.
Have you ever believed in love at first sight?
Will today would be the day.
Perfect height, pretty eyes, perfect traits.
In fact, he may have seen her in his dreams
The other day.
He’s nervous..what does he even say?
She’s smiled at him, that takes the anxiety away.
Hey, I’m sorry miss, but I have to know your name.
She speaks with eloquence, sounds just
Like an angel.
Is she a blessing from God,
Or a trick handed from Satan?
He’d never thought it possible.
He thought he’d be alone forever more,
Love is just not plausible.
They started hanging out.
They started making out.
Al the motivation he needed,
How quickly he had found.
To share that happiness with a blessing
Is a blessing.
No more stressing, only on her body
Is he caressing.
He’s like F it, tonight we make it to forever.
Start the dinner, it’s rented with his
Custom instrumentals.
He proposes on one knee, she’s cheesing.
Everybody that’s watching is grinning.
Clapping for the scene of what seemed to be
Serene, pure bliss, love; angels begin to sing.
Only now the clapping has turned sinister.
She turned cold instead of warm, he
Could feel his soul leave his body.
She turned around to him and said
This is your forever karma.
You’ll dream the same dream, but it’ll always
End up the same.
So you can feel the same pain
That you caused when you were immature
And playing games.
On being emotionally bankrupt
Sentient beings distraught
psyche rent asunder
courtesy false accusations
heated words exchanged like gunfire
pox upon the house of Deborah Hunter,
a vicious vindictive
girlish looking septuagenarian woman
buzzfeeding unfounded conspiracy
that the missus steals packages
ever since we moved here
at Highland Manor Apartments
force core and seven years ago
July first two thousand and seventeen
thee wife accused
unfounded rumor circulated,
she brought in snakes
courtesy whom I hashtag snaggletooth
blind as a bat
mistook large make believe
as voracious very hungry,
albeit friendly stuffed caterpillars,
nevertheless possessing
an insatiable appetite
for rumor mongers
especially for bony thin
older bonnie lass
or similar facsimile thereof
such as a small number of tenants
housed here at above mentioned
low income low slung building
formerly an elementary school
repurposed many decades ago
into accommodations
mostly catering to senior citizens,
and/or those receiving
social security disability
the latter classification pertains
to yours truly,
a psychologically tuckered out
egalitarian, libertarian, nonsectarian,
sexagenarian, solitudinarian Unitarian
frazzled, grizzled,
and puzzled wordsmith
who knows not why the wife
singled out and bullied, hastled,
intimidated, and threatened
creating hostile living environment
impacting me
indirectly caught in the crosshairs
wishing upon a star
to acquire monetary resources
to hightail out of
insufferable toxic shock
tamped on gray matter
system of the down
slipping into the behavioral sink
suffocating - impossible mission
to catch my breath
brainstorming for solution
while pitched upon
horns of a dilemma,
whereat I shout out
thru the corridors of time
calling Bull Moose and Rocky
my childhood fictitious cartoon heroes
to deliver salvation out the maws
of an untenable situation
threatening life and limb
hankering for life, liberty
and the pursuit
of happiness birthing
nirvana linkedin to soul asylum.
Old pictures…
Old, fragile pictures
to collect them in a box
To remember
and to cherish
to pick up the box
whenever you want
to relive memories
or easily to forget them
covered by dust
But nowadays
why to cherish
those valuable moments?
You bring memories
with you in your pocket
wherever you go
every single day
Until you’re going to realize
some pictures will tore
open wounds over time
of loss and sadness
as if you carry them
as a burden in your pocket
wherever you go
every single day
Then you wish you had them
as old, fragile pictures
to collect them in a box
Not remembering
and cherishing them
but to put the box
in a deep closet
easily to forget them
covered by thick dust…
Familiar
Once again I find these depths;
shivering, scared, all alone.
I feel as if I can rest,
I hear whispers in comforting tones:
“Abandon all hope, give up.”
“Your only friend now is Woe.”
“Your feet? Concrete. Now you’re stuck.”
“Only fear runs free in your new home.”
Emotions stuck in my throat,
can only escape through tears.
Anxiety starts to gloat.
Panic screams that this won’t end for years.
Loneliness eats my insides.
The silence claws at my ears.
Heart splits in two. It decides
to be its own best friend. Self endears.
Can‘t help but think, this aint new.
New hole, walls, and monsters… sure.
Same emotions black and blue.
In this place, darkness holds the allure:
Hatred smiles in disguise;
promises you can’t endure
with sweet words sprinkled in lies.
Nothing new. But this time I’m the cure.
Strike two rocks together: sparks.
Darkness always yields to light.
In my pool of thought there’s sharks,
but they respect the depth of my might.
I decide how I react.
Every battle worth the fight.
my strongest self - I’ll be that.
ev’ry abyss - my chance to take flight.