Donate coins to EBJohnson.
Juice
Cancel
Your second date with God
Written by EBJohnson in portal Fantasy

Worst. Date. Ever.

Well, diary, I did it again. 

I went out with God again last night, even after promising myself not to. I don't know what happened. It feels like I just blinked and boom there I was, sitting across from at the table watching him turn water into wine and going on and on about all the great things he's done. 

Turns out he has a kid too, can you believe that? Second date and he drops a kid bomb on me. He's really a class act. Think the kid is grown, though, and don't think he even has any idea what the kid is up to these days. From what I can gather he lives with his mother. Boy, does she sound like a character.

When he wasn't trying to impress me with his wine skills, he was going on and on about this new phase of life he's in. Apparently he used to be a pretty jealous guy, but he's turning over a new leaf (not that I could tell). He told me all about how he used to go after his exes and the people that screwed him over in business. Not an attractive trait...no matter how many years ago it was.

I got so bored with it all at one point that I tried to talk to him about politics. Boy was that a mistake. Turns out he's a huge Trump fan. Who knew? I guess I should have known that one megalomaniac would love another. Unfortunately that just opened up a door to a whole world of weird. The guy really, REALLY can't stand shellfish. Or women on their periods, or, seemingly, anything that's any good. 

All-in-all, I'll just chalk this up to a lesson learned. STOP SWIPING RIGHT YOU SILLY COW. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. I've deleted him from FB and blocked his number. Here's hoping to better dates in future...

10
4
4
Juice
65 reads
Donate coins to EBJohnson.
Juice
Cancel
Your second date with God
Written by EBJohnson in portal Fantasy
Worst. Date. Ever.
Well, diary, I did it again. 

I went out with God again last night, even after promising myself not to. I don't know what happened. It feels like I just blinked and boom there I was, sitting across from at the table watching him turn water into wine and going on and on about all the great things he's done. 

Turns out he has a kid too, can you believe that? Second date and he drops a kid bomb on me. He's really a class act. Think the kid is grown, though, and don't think he even has any idea what the kid is up to these days. From what I can gather he lives with his mother. Boy, does she sound like a character.

When he wasn't trying to impress me with his wine skills, he was going on and on about this new phase of life he's in. Apparently he used to be a pretty jealous guy, but he's turning over a new leaf (not that I could tell). He told me all about how he used to go after his exes and the people that screwed him over in business. Not an attractive trait...no matter how many years ago it was.

I got so bored with it all at one point that I tried to talk to him about politics. Boy was that a mistake. Turns out he's a huge Trump fan. Who knew? I guess I should have known that one megalomaniac would love another. Unfortunately that just opened up a door to a whole world of weird. The guy really, REALLY can't stand shellfish. Or women on their periods, or, seemingly, anything that's any good. 

All-in-all, I'll just chalk this up to a lesson learned. STOP SWIPING RIGHT YOU SILLY COW. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. I've deleted him from FB and blocked his number. Here's hoping to better dates in future...


#god  #humor  #funny  #Diary 
10
4
4
Juice
65 reads
Load 4 Comments
Login to post comments.
Advertisement  (turn off)