thermodynamics

i hate to be the bearer of bad news,

but chaos increases

and the spiders in your stomach

will spin silk fast enough to catch the lovesick butterflies

and eat them whole

christmases will become more of a bother than a celebration

and your holiday excitement will fizzle into a lethargic apology

there's no use in saying sorry

your words will be stale

your heartbeats will plot a boom and bust cycle

but don't worry

the ghost towns sitting on your fingertips will dissipate

when placed under warm water

you will feel empty

and hollow

and numb

word vomit will fall up your throat

and fuck fuck fuck your mother will melt sunshine into rain

and goddamn it'll hurt because the ones you love the most know how to make you feel the worst

i'm sorry for putting my hand over your candlelight

i'm sorry i can't

braid your hair

like your mother did

when you were nine

all i've ever known is tangles

entropy is a friend of mine