unfortunate truths

I.

i identify as a leech because i do not know how to let go. it's in my nature to clutch everything too tight, to hug everyone so firm that they choke. i give my darlings bruises. sometimes i think i love too hard.

II.

my main talent is turning snowflakes into avalanches. on a good day, i can make a wonderland out of a rabbit hole, but good days don't come around much anymore. nowadays, my prowess is usually wasted doing this: i pick a scab on my wrist so much that my whole arm bleeds. everyone always says, "it's the little things in life," but they always stop mid-sentence to breathe and exhale the bad news. they don't want to tell you that it's the little things in life that drive you mad.

III.

i can spell the word "happy" backwards, forwards, and upside-down with both my eyes closed. i can pronounce it in three different languages. i can rattle off oceans of synonyms for it: ecstatic, elated, overjoyed, cheerful, jovial, gleeful, euphoric. i can spew off the definition of happy ten thousand times over. i know happiness.

but i've never seen it in person.