Ambitionz Az A Writah

As a kid, I always had dreams of becoming things that I now realize would have been impossible for me to be, given my talents and skill set. I remember being a nine year-old kid pretending to be Steve Young, throwing touchdown passes to Jerry Rice. There was a time when I even dreamed of becoming a cyborg killing machine like "The Terminator." But the first time I ever truly had a dream I felt I could actually accomplish was when my Uncle Jack told me that I was a good writer. He told me that I had a way with words that could truly move people, and that it should be a goal of mine to become a writer. I don't know if Uncle Jack remembers telling me this when I was seventeen, but since then I've basically put all my eggs into this one basket, and have never contemplated becoming anything else.

I've been a Tupac fan for as long as I could remember. I remember hearing "Brenda's Got A Baby" on 106.1 KMEL in Oakland when I was in elementary, and it became one of my favorite songs. Of course, when I was 15, Tupac was killed and it was said, except for when all his music kept coming out. Then when I was 21 a documentary film of Tupac's life called "Resurrection" came out, and I was one of the first people to go see it. It was amazing, but there was one part that really got me. He talked about writing movies, and reading a book by Syd Field that taught about writing screenplays. I bought that book and studied it the best I coould, wrote my own screenplay, and moved down to L.A. to try and sell it. I failed. I ended up moving back in with my parents, because I blew all my savings on that move to L.A.. Now, I find myself in the peculiar position of living with my uncle Jack again.

It's been 17 years since Uncle Jack told me I was a good writer. So far, I haven't been good enough at my craft to gain any recognition from the powers that be, but my ambition to become what I know I was born to be hasn't dwindled. No matter how many people tell me I need to be realistic.

2 years ago I promised myself I would never get another 9 to 5 job again, just to kind of push myself to reach my goal by any means. Sort of a "do or die" type of pact, but I think that my have been "unrealistic". Today, I'm searching online for jobs in Park City, while Uncle Jack tries to help me get back on my feet, and back in good standing with the church. I was a little hesitant with Uncle Jack offered to help me out, because I knew what it entailed. However, I thank God for bringing right back to the beginning, and reigniting my ambitions to become a writer.