My life doesn’t feel like a life but like the heaviness of letting sadness in

There is a feeling I cannot explain

It exists in the taste of poetry on my tongue

Or the sound soft voices harmonizing

It is the feeling of being in a quiet church

With stain glass windows pouring glass on me

It is the bite of lemon on my tongue and ice crunching in my teeth

Wind in my hair

It is a feeling of existing

It exists at 8:03 pm at the cross of martyrs as the sunsets

It exists at Ragle park on a bench in the grass

It exists in fairy lights and the smell of rain

The heavy touch inside my ribcage

It is the feeling that I get when I taste “I love you” on my lips

It is breathing and burning and soreness in my thighs

It is something more than metaphors can explain

It is painful and heavy and it hurts so much but I pray to god it never goes away