I Wanted to Die

I wanted to die because I was

The foam of the sea,

That sweeps and fills the rims

That was once a part of the ocean,

But crashed underneath the waves and turned into something different,

But still the same.

I wanted to die because I was

The caterpillar,

Filled with exhilaration and excitement

As the day I become a butterfly comes nearer and nearer,

Only to emerge from that sticky cocoon to find that I am a moth

I wanted to die because I was

The ugly duckling,

That really was a duckling.

I wanted to die because I was

A ghost.

Stuck in one place,

Screaming at the top of my lungs and not one soul looks up.

I wanted to die because I was

A procrastination

Constantly shrugging off the real issues,

The real life and real living

I wanted to die because I was

Not even a vibration in the universe

Not even a tiny speck,

Just blank space.

But furthermore, not even that.

I wanted to die because

I was the flower

That swelled up before it even bloomed

I wanted to die because

I didn’t understand anything.

I still don't.