The Wedding Gift
Itʼs not what I pictured for my wedding day;
Iʼm alone with rose petals on the bed.
The honeymoon suite is all I dreamed;
Your lies on ‘repeat’ in my head.
I was a fool to think you were different,
A fool to believe in any man.
You're a fool to marry a scandalous slut.
We're all victims of your murderous plan.
You could've just broken up with me.
You could've just given me the boot.
Killing your girl seems a bit excessive,
To put an end to a lovers dispute.
You really thought youʼd be free of me.
When I fell by your hand, by your knife.
My death was supposed to clear the path;
For your new life and pretty new wife.
You've never believed in things unseen;
Stupid man, you'll learn tonight.
My vengeful spirit crashed the wedding;
My gift will be to set things to right.
The reception should be ending soon,
You celebrated with family and friends.
In just a few days, they'll reconvene,
Your funeral, they'll be back to attend.
The door flies open with a drunken bang,
If my heart beat, it would be racing.
And there you stand in your pinstripe suit,
In the doorway, your new wife embracing.
I study her with a most critical eye;
Sheʼs got some nerve wearing white!
She stole my boyfriend freshman year!
Now sheʼs stolen my wedding night!
You're carrying her over the threshold.
My eyes roll at the cheeseball display.
No way you'll keep this act up for long…
Your eyes wander, and you tend to stray!
You stumble until you reach the bed,
She falls from your arms, ungraciously.
Her white dress billows out like clouds,
Iridescent sequins flash tastelessly.
She exhales loudly, then lets out a fart.
I smile at your dark, hateful scowl.
Looks like the bride got a little too drunk,
Maybe the bride realized the groom's'foul.
Shower turns on, us girls left alone;
My knife cuts her free of her dress.
Smooth skin mocks, begs to be carved,
She's'about to be a hot, bloody mess
Quick, restraining her arms and her legs,
Then I cover her mouth with duct tape.
The fear in her eyes fills me with glee,
No runaway bride, no escape!
The water shuts off, I rise to the ceiling.
Time to kick off the festivities!
I kill the lights as I hear him curse…
The bride whimpers in her captivity.
The look on his face is utterly priceless!
Once Iʼm ready, I turn on the light.
His mind canʼt accept what his eyes see,
Like a girl, he screams out in fright!
Heʼs stuttering, seeking his lost reflection,
But itʼs just me, glaring from the mirror.
Iʼm chanting nonsense to freak him out,
He whispers, “What are you doing here?"
"Iʼm here for revenge!" My voice is thunder.
He winces as if in physical pain.
My voice gets louder, echoes resound!
Iʼm screaming the hymns of the insane!
He covers his ears and runs to the room,
His bride stops him dead in his tracks,
He's looking wild, desperate to flee,
I walk in the room with an axe.
"No, please no!” I like how he begs.
I smile widely, laughing hysterically.
I swing the axe hard like a baseball bat,
It lands, I'm struck with sudden clarity.
I realize that he never loved me…
He's a selfish, self centered prick.
Physical love, that's all he's capable of
He loves holes where he can stick his dick.
Down on the floor, pathetic he bleeds.
Axe handle protrudes from his belly.
Wet gurgling sounds, he shits himself.
He's Despicable, vile and now smelly.
I realize my hearts not cold like his;
It's not easy to inflict this much pain.
But I'm no quitter, so I power through,
This opportunity won't come again.
Unbuckle his pants, pull out his wiener,
So weird in its limp, flaccid state.
I slice it off clean, he lets out a scream!
On the bed, the bride patiently waits.
I pull the axe free, blood gushes out.
I swing down once more on his leg.
It's a death blow, his artery's been cut,
It doesn't matter how much he begs.
I want him to see, to watch in horror,
The death I have planned for the bride.
His severed dick is stuffed down her throat,
Choking on dick is how she died.
To all who find themselves stupid in love,
Please learn from my sad, ugly story.
No happy ever after, love never lasts,
There's'no future, no hope, and no glory.