This Time...

Many friends and relatives came to the funeral. On this autumn day we all stood silently, watching the eight soldiers carry the casket veiled with a flag. They arrived at the hole and set it down. The flag was lifted off and folded with care. One of the soldiers walked over to us and presented it to my mother who had tears running down her face. The casket was then lowered into the ground deep below. After the burial the servicemen left us, and we stood around the grave. Solemn reverence radiated off of us. Not a word was said. We stood wordlessly as the trees blew in the wind seemingly mourning with us. Gradually people began to leave, and the group thinned until my family was all that remained with me.

“We’ll be waiting for you in the car, sweetie,” my mom spoke quietly in my ear. “Come when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” I muttered. She kissed my head and took my brothers and sister back to where we had parked the car. His death had been so hard on us already. I didn’t know how we could live without him for the rest of our lives. I just knew I had to stay strong for my siblings, help them through this as was my duty as their older sister.

I got tired and sat down on my knees. The ground felt so cold and wet as I cried. I looked at his headstone. I couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t come back this time. The chilly breeze ran through my hair. My tears were hot on my face. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t he have returned home safely as he always had before? I pulled my sweater tighter around me, but it couldn’t warm my grieving heart. I knew I needed to go; I needed time to heal. I set my flowers on his grave. “I love you Dad,” I whispered as I stood and left.