Challenge
Write a formal apology to the body parts you accidentally injure most often or with the greatest intensity. Identify your personal cause of clumsiness, i.e. impatience, shortsightedness, and giddy thrills. This is meant to be lighthearted; please avoid sinister forms of self-harm unless the result is somehow hilarious.
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To my precious toes,
Please, I wish to preface, by apologizing profusely for the damage I have caused to you over the years. Those nights when I was a younger and I drank way too much and I scrapped you across the dance floor in clumsy haste. The one time when I decided to try a new psychotropic medication because I wasn't sleeping, I woke up, bordering on comatose, and rammed you accidentally into the coffee table, then you were broken. It's almost as if someone should have invented a protector for you. You will never be the same and I stare down at you with sadness in my heart when I realize you are crooked and broken, the same as I.