july 19

i wish i had someone i could just chill with whenever, like hanging out in each other's rooms, laying in bed just staring at the ceiling, going out for walks just to be underneath the sky. i want to feel someone's presence, being by myself is getting boring.

but i want it to be a really comfortable kind of companionship, the kind where you can hang out with each other in your pajamas early in the morning, talk before bed even if it's about nothing, look at the stars sometimes and feel small together. someone who wouldn't mind how lazy i am to get out of bed or fix my hair, someone who feels the same maybe.

someone who's just as confused about everything, but finds some solace with me. idk i've never had that kind of friendship, except when i was a kid i guess, playing games all the time and not realizing how precious that time was. i miss hanging out with people i don't need to get dressed up for.

it's kinda sad that none of my friends live close. the days go by so fast, blur into one another, and we're spending them alone. i want someone with whom to share the small moments, someone to just exist together with. having company would keep me from getting stuck in my head. life is starting to feel a little unreal.