of broken hearts and crushed dreams

I still keep those flowers that you bought me on my birthday. I remember you presenting me with them and a slightly sheepish smile. I remember me giving you a hug and peck on the cheek as a reward.

I still remember those times.

I never really cherished what we used to have until it was gone. That was my greatest regret - that and not being by your side on the day that you decided to put an end to your life.

I always wonder what I could have done to stop your untimely death. After all, I was caught unprepared when Death decided to take you by the hand and lead you out of my life. I always wonder whether it was your own fault - or mine.

What would be different if you were still alive? Would you still have remained by my side up till now? Would we still have what we used to? And most importantly, would you still be happy?

Because I thought you were strong enough to cope with life and its many pains but apparently you couldn't take it anymore.

You had me to share your burden with, but I guess I just wasn't good enough a reason for you to keep living. Wasn't good enough to make you happy. Just wasn't enough.

Lots of decisions are tough to make, mostly because you don't know whether to follow your heart or your mind when you're making them. But I followed both my heart and mind when I made the decision of loving you and I have never regretted it even though all you left me to remember you with was pain.