November 12, 2016

That day is a day forever marked in stone, as are all. What shall be remember in times future of today? Shall today even be remembered? Or shall it be lost in the sea of days and weeks and months and years and decades and centuries and millennia? What makes a day remembered by those after us? Is it courage and valor? Or is it the pure oddity of events - that is, their unusualness - which causes people to seek to remember it? Despite all these things, November 12, 2016 shall forever be marked in stone in my heart. This distinction is necessary, for all days past are marked in stone - they are what they are, as are what is therein. But not all days are marked in stone in one's heart. It is those days which are special which are so marked. And indeed, November the twelfth is special - it is upon this day that I came to understand what it means to love another person, what it feels like to have to say goodbye when all your heart is screaming to stay, what it feels like to give a piece of yourself in a kiss rather than it being a purely physical sensation. November the twelve two thousand sixteen shall be that day in which I learned much, loved much, and came to understand much. What did I learn? Love is not a thing which one can fully explain nor intellectualize - in fact, it is a deeply soul-ish thing, contrary to purely physical or intellectual categories. Love is a thing described only by the soul - a thing where words, in all their beauty, finally fail to adequately express that to which they refer. Love is a soul-ish thing - a thing to be felt, not described by words or minds but felt by the heart, by the soul. That I learned evermore that day. I also learned the hell of circumstances. When your heart and soul earnestly desire and long for something yet your historical particulars preclude it and make it temporarily impossible. In this one must be patient, shall not those desires and longings be all the more sweetly fulfilled when you have patiently waited for their fulfillment? I think it to be so. And even if I did not, the context I was in did not allow for the possibility of what I wanted. I would have gotten half a desire and a longing filled - is that not worse than merely waiting for when you can have your fill? I know that to be so. What - or rather, who - did I love much on that day? A beautiful woman. Her name is left to be known only by myself. But that does not change a thing. She is stunningly beautiful, a lovely creature full of smiles and a loving heart. I could not ask for better. And what did I understand that day? That love is greater than any other emotion. Love is productive while others are destructive, intoxicating without deadly side-effects, soul-ish without leaving the physical untouched. I learned about love. I loved much. I came to understand much.

- Mr. DH