Not Ready

Dear Diary,

I stopped writing in you years ago. The world has been breaking for years now. That's a bit over-dramatic. The human race has been breaking apart for years now. Even people who once called themselves family stopped caring about others. It seemed silly to believe that writing down my thoughts and feelings in a blank book would be any help. Who would read it? Who would care?

But today is different. Something changed. The people who had lost themselves the most to the uncaring world have morphed into the world's worst nightmare. The world had dreaded (is that a word) the zombie apocalypse for decades - at least until they stopped caring. It is hard to worry when you don't care what happens to anyone. I am writing now to let the people I once cared about know that I never really stopped. I pretended to not care, wore a mask of indifference. I couldn't figure out how to stop caring, perhaps because I cared too much before - to a fault I suppose.

Ben - I have loved you since you gave me your last piece of gum in 7th grade.

Mom, Dad - I will always remember and respect you. I will always appreciate my memories of the short time we had, before we stopped caring.

Tara - You are my best friend - I don't know how I hid that, I never stopped. I hope you make it through more than anything.

But it is getting late. I'll have to move soon. From my seat by the window I see more and more people changing. What are they doing? What can I do? Is there anything to stop it? I don't feel different. I wonder if caring is the cure. If loving my neighbors, my friends, my family with the full, unfettered force of my devotion could in its own way stop the annihilation of everything. Dear Diary, I hope this is the beginning of a new way of thinking.