0-2 Count

(originally published on Facebook, October 2011)

In the not-too-distant future, sometime around October. Cold weather, Halloween and of course, the Fall Classic. Many Americans look forward to the World Series. Baseball fans, sports nuts and of course, groupies. Kristina Banzeck was all three. An obsessive fan of the Chicago White Sox and a beautiful brunette girl of about 27, she followed every game, every off-season, every spring training. She would take vacations from her job as a receptionist at a law firm to follow the team on road trips and spring training. She was so distant from family and old friends due to her obsession.

Tonight was Game 7 of the World Series. Kristina didn't have tickets, her dead-end job and the lack of a college diploma led her to be low on cash. Instead, she was at a local South Side sports bar called Fox's. The bartenders, an old guy named Max and his daughter named Samantha, knew her by name. Her order, two shots of tequila and a Miller Lite, keep them coming, was well known among the bar. Most of the barflies knew her as the White Sox Supergroupie. As game time approached, the patrons joined in on drinking songs and rally cries for their team to win.

The series had been a narrow contest between the Sox and the St. Louis Cardinals. St. Louis got Game 1 in Chicago but the White Sox got the next two, the second in St. Louis. The Cardinals took Games 4 and 5 as they went back to Chicago. The White Sox got Game 6 in extra innings and were sure to win Game 7. Game 7 was a pitching rematch of Game 3, an 11-4 win for the White Sox. The White Sox pitcher, Nick Davidson, pitched seven strong innings in Game 3, striking out seven and allowing just three runs. The Cardinals pitcher, Larry Brenner, was yanked after four innings and seven runs. However, the seventh game is always different than the third one as this game had no other after it.

The game was a tight one. The White Sox took a 2-0 lead in the second inning from a two-out double. The Cardinals made it 2-1 in the third with a bases-loaded single. The White Sox added another run in the fourth to make it 3-1 on a solo shot to left. The Cardinals tied it in the sixth on a pair of doubles. The White Sox took the lead again in the bottom of the eighth inning on a long single that scored the go-ahead run. The game, and the Series, looked under wraps. But then, the Sox's luck ran out.

While the fans at the bar began to go crazy, the top of the ninth began. The White Sox's closer was a burly and unstable man who was known for his fast and violent pitches. His first pitch beaned the Cards' number 9 hitter and the home plate umpire threw him out. The closer started arguing with the umpire and attempted to punch him in the chest. The umpire, an ex-Marine, knocked him to the ground in self-defense. Two Chicago policemen escorted the closer out of the stadium while the worked-up home crowd booed. The Cardinals were out for blood. The next pitcher, the Game 4 starter, walked the next two batters and the bases were loaded. Then, Donnie Alston came up. A second-year player, he had hit 21 home runs and hit .306. He was also a great fielder, providing much needed speed in right. The pitcher, without much energy, was in a dilemma. He couldn't walk him because then, the game would be tied. If he threw to him, he would probably hit one out. He took his chances. At the first pitch Alston saw, he hit a grand slam to make the score 7-4. After that, the bottom fell out. St. Louis scored four more times to make it 11-4. The White Sox went down 1-2-3 in the bottom of the ninth. The bar was silenced. Kristina was dejected. She walked home to her apartment, moping. She entered her apartment, decked out in White Sox memorabilia and cried herself to sleep.

After the loss, it seemed as if Kristina had stopped caring about baseball completely. She stopped going to Fox's Bar, she decided not to follow the team to spring training, she re-enrolled to college and she was actually talking to her friends and family again. Sure, she was still a bit unhinged as she was drinking more but the new Kristina seemed to be a better person. Then, the schedule for the next Major League Baseball season came out. Kristina went online and saw that the White Sox and the Cardinals would have a rematch on the weekend of June 17th to June 19th. She took the day off from work as she had an idea. Fueled by vodka and sunflower seeds, she came with a list of revenge plots. Bombing was out of the question, food poisoning was too outlandish, a plane crash was too expensive and after 27 different ideas and four bottles of Popov, she was tired and about to throw up. While vomiting into her toilet bowl, a light bulb clicked in her head. She decided that she would kidnap Donnie Alston and kill him.

For the next few months, she created the plans. She built traps in her apartment, she bought lots of sex toys from a local adult bookstore (she had many already, but there always room for more) and had MLB Extra Innings to scout out Alston's every move. The White Sox, having gone through a fire sale, weren't looking too good so this led to Kristina closely watching Alston on TV. His season was looking good so far. Since winning the World Series MVP, Alston had been playing MVP-caliber baseball. He was hitting .355 and had 21 home runs a week before the Cardinals-White Sox series. On Monday, Kristina went to Fox's Bar for the first time since the Series. It was a travel day for the Cardinals so no game was on. Samantha immediately recognized Kristina and told her "long time, no see". Samantha then asked Kristina if she wanted the usual. Kristina so no and ordered something a bit more fruity. Kristina then asked how Max was doing. Samantha simply told her that he died. Kristina asked how and Samantha told her that he had a heart attack a month after the World Series and that she and her husband inherited the bar. They were also considering selling the bar and starting a family. Kristina mentioned that nothing was the same anymore. Kristina then told Samantha that she had some important news and that no one else could know. Samantha opened the enclosure on the bar and let Kristina in. They went into the back as Kristina told her that she would kidnap Donnie Alston and kill him. Samantha told her that she was crazy and that she would get life. Kristina explained that if he stole the Series from the Sox, then they should rightfully take what's theirs. Samantha told her that she should just forgive and forget and wait for next year. Kristina told Samantha that last year was that year. Samantha gets irate and points at the door, telling her to finish her drink and get out. After Kristina downs the rest of her daiquiri in one gulp, she yells at Samantha and tells her that last year was their year and this year was payback.

A few days passed. Kristina had saved up some vacation days and asked for Friday off. Friday morning was when the Cardinals arrived at Midway International Airport. They would hit the field by mid-afternoon. The first part of the plan was that Alston never makes it to the field. To pull this off, Kristina would dress up as a prostitute and pretend to solicit men in the men's bathroom. When coming up with the costume, a tube top, pleather mini skirt, leggings, heels and a small jean jacket, Kristina said to herself that she hadn't dressed like this since high school. But this of course wasn't an outfit to give head to in some boy's dad's Camaro. She also had some chloroform and a rag hidden in a small purse that would knock out Alston and to get him to the apartment, she would pretend to be his wife and that he ate some bad shellfish or something. After a taxi ride home, the madness would begin.

Friday morning came. The team was scheduled to arrive sometime between 7:00 am and 10:00 am for a 7:00 pm game. Kristina took a train to Midway to wait for the team. She found the terminal where the team was expected to arrive from and found the nearest bathroom. At about 8:06 am, the team emerged from the terminal. There was Donnie Alston, a tall, handsome man with a well-chiseled body and a million-dollar smile. A 6'2", 205 pound man vs. a 5'4", 135 pound girl. A tough battle, sure. But it was definitely not impossible due to Kristina's determination. As Alston was talking to a pair of teammates, Alston mentioned that he had to go into the bathroom. He didn't want to look jet-lagged for the press. Kristina went into the men's bathroom and hid in a stall. Standing on a toilet seat (germ protector, of course), Kristina watched as Donnie was splashing his face with water and taking a pair of extra-strength Tylenol. She began to prepare the chloroform as he cupped some water from the faucet to take the pills with. While Donnie was wiping his face with a paper towel, Kristina opened the stall door and jumped on Donnie like a lion sneaks for antelope. She got the chloroform onto his mouth and as soon as she jumped off of him, Donnie went out like a light.

Since his teammates likely saw him enter, she dragged his body into one of the stalls and waited for the team to leave. A pair of teammates entered the bathroom but assume that the stall was being used by someone else. After they left, Kristina got a wheelchair and put Donnie in it. She put a White Sox cap and a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses on him. They went outside as they waited for the taxi. While waiting for the taxi, the team could be seen looking for him. A player assumed that he headed for the hotel while another mentioned that it would be uncharacteristic for him to leave without the team.

The plan was going smoothly. Donnie was sleeping like a baby and Kristina was safe as a kitten as they sat in the taxi. "How long would it take for the pieces to come together," Kristina thought. "They would never expect a girl like me to commit kidnapping and murder and therefore, I can get off completely." As the taxi stopped at her apartment complex, the taxi driver got a good look at her. He found a pair of identifying marks, a Chicago White Sox tattoo on the front of her right hip and a pair of doves on the back of her hips. It was nothing important for the moment, but if things came out then the tube top may be an Achilles' heel in Kristina's so-called brilliant plan.

At about 1:00 pm, Donnie woke up. His hands and feet were tied to a recliner and his head was covered by a black silk hood. Kristina, now in her regular attire of a fitted White Sox T-shirt and Daisy Dukes, took off the hood. Donnie, looking around at the apartment, asked what kind of freak she was. Kristina told him that she was a freak that wanted revenge. Donnie asked her what he did to her as he hadn't even met her. Kristina explained to him that he stole the World Series from the White Sox and that he made her lose interest in everything that made life so important for her. As a result, he had a 0-2 count and one more thing that he did wrong would be his third strike. Donnie then asked what he could do to spare his life. Kristina then told him two things. First, the White Sox would have to win at least one game in the three-game set. If the Cardinals won one or two games, they would be foul balls. If they swept, then he would die. The second thing was that he would have to submit to anything that she says. Right after she said this, Kristina revealed herself to be wearing a strap-on. Kristina then told Donnie that she would be untying him from the chair but would be handcuffing his hands and feet. She then got out two pairs of furry handcuffs for his hands and feet and a baseball bat so he wouldn't use self-defense. After getting the handcuffs on, Kristina began to have her way with Donnie. Donnie was incredibly uncomfortable with this situation and began to start crying in pain. Kristina told Donnie not to let her get the ball gag, as she was enjoying this too much.

Kristina's pleasure (and Donnie's pain) lasted until game time. With two bottles of Miller Lite, a bucket of popcorn and some menthols, Kristina began to watch the game while Donnie laid nearly motionless on the couch. Despite having to replace Donnie at the last minute, the Cardinals still won the game 8-6. After the game, it was time for more abuse. Kristina entered a Catwoman get-up and began to whip Donnie senselessly on her bed. After a few hours, Kristina entered bed with Donnie in her arms. In an uncompromising position, Donnie began to think about escaping as Kristina whispered in his ear, "Ball one".

Saturday morning. Donnie woke up at around 9:00 am. Hopping out of the bedroom, he found Kristina eating a bowl of cereal. The TV was on with the story that Donnie had gone missing. Donnie asked Kristina to take one pair of the handcuffs off as he had been in massive pain from the rape. Kristina ended up taking off the handcuffs and Donnie attempted to choke her in an attempt to incapacitate her. Kristina got out a taser and charged some voltage into him. Putting Donnie back to bed, Kristina activated a booby trap in the bedroom that would trip him and punch him with a projectile glove. Putting on a pink shirt and a short skirt, she went out of the apartment to buy liquor and whatever groceries needed to be had. Hailing a cab, she found the same driver as yesterday driving. There was also a passenger inside. As Kristina got inside the cab, the passenger introduced himself. His name was Orion Heathcliff, relief pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. He then asked Kristina if she watched baseball and that if she had heard of a player named Donnie Alston. To play dumb, Kristina said that she didn't know who he was talking about. He then handed her a missing poster for him and told her to call for information. Orion then starts to play a game with Kristina where he reads people's minds. The first two times, he jokingly asks questions about if she is single and if she is going to the store. After getting those two questions right. He decides to do it for real. He puts his hand on her forehead. He begins to see some strange activity, a man fighting for his life and having all his dignity stolen from him. Orion takes his hand off. Kristina asks him where's wrong. Orion says that he'd rather not talk about it. Kristina coaxes him to ask and says that she's hiding a man in her apartment. Kristina once again plays dumb and says that was just a one-night stand. Deciding not to go any further, Orion says nothing else until Kristina gets to her stop. After she paid the fare, the cab driver notices her tattoos and realizes it's the same girl from yesterday. The driver then asks how he manages to do the mind-reading thing. Orion explains that he's Wiccan and that he learned it from his wife. The driver then asks what Orion saw. He tells the cab driver that he saw Donnie in her apartment. The driver doubts it at first, but then he remembers the man with Kristina. He remembers her tattoos. There was a match. But it couldn't possibly be Donnie. Orion and the cab driver soon made a dash for the police station to see what they could do.

Donnie finally emerged from the voltage at around 1:15 pm. Hopping out of the room, he hit the tripwire and got conked in the stomach. Crawling to the kitchen, he found that the middle of the floor there was rigged with a bear trap. He crawled to the living room and found an open hole of broken glass covered up by a rug. He then crawled to the door, thinking about scratching to get help. However he saw a laser a few feet near the door that if he crossed it, would trigger a gunshot from a large rifle. Realizing that his options were limited, he got up, found a baseball bat and triggered the bear trap with it. He then got into the pantry and found a jar of peanut butter. Unable to handle a spoon with cuffed hands, he had to eat the peanut butter with his hands. Later he found a remote and turned it on. Lots of baseball games on. Donnie started to feel depressed. He missed his friends on the diamond and thought he may never get to see them again as he was bound to die tomorrow.

Kristina came home at about 4:30 pm, seeing Donnie moping on the recliner. Kristina told him that he felt like she did when he stole the World Series. After she put up the groceries, she went to the bathroom to turn on the bathtub. Taking a belt from her closet, Kristina put the belt around Donnie's neck and pulled him to the bathroom. Bathing him due to his handcuffs, it was a combination of violence and eroticism. Donnie wasn't enthused but Kristina was loving the madness. After putting him in a soft, pink robe, Kristina started working on their dinner. She was making fettuccine alfredo and she also got a bottle of white wine for the occasion. They ate at 6:00 pm. Donnie toasted for safety. Kristina toasted for health. Both ate well and drank the entire bottle. During this time, Donnie seemed to develop Stockholm Syndrome as he was actually starting to enjoy being kidnapped. Or it was probably the wine talking. The two talked about their childhood, how they got interested in baseball and why they were here right now. They didn't even watch the game, a 5-2 Cardinals victory.

Sunday morning came. Kristina woke up early. Looking at her window, she saw the Chicago Police Department surrounding her building. The head of the Precinct had a bullhorn in his hand. He yelled for her to let Donnie out. Kristina asked how they knew she had him. Three witnesses, Samantha, Orion and the cab driver, all step forward. Kristina realizes what's going on and attempts to make a run for it. Failing to realize that trap near the front door was still rigged, the rifle ended up shooting Kristina's right ankle. Donnie was woke up by the gunshot and hopped into the main room to see what was going on. He looked out at the window and saw the people looking for him. This led the police to go inside to see what was going on. Kristina then yelled for him to her. Donnie then mentioned how he had a 0-2 count when he came here. He told her that she now had a 0-2 count for kidnapping him in a public place and then keeping herself open when she needed to be hidden. Getting shot was her third strike. He simply got another foul ball. The police knocked on the door and asked her to get out. Another gunshot was heard, leading the police to knock down the door. They saw Donnie standing, looking awestruck. The officer asked where the girl was. Donnie told them that she was right behind them. Deciding to avoid jail, Kristina shot herself in the head and was killed almost instantly. The ordeal was over after two days.

Donnie was back with the team that evening. He didn't play for the next week but returned as good as before, finishing the season with a .318 batting average and 40 home runs. He later wrote a memoir on the ordeal that he suffered during the two days. Orion got an endorsement deal for his ability to read minds. The cab driver still drives a cab. Samantha sold the bar and moved to Seattle with her husband. Kristina's behavior and suicide later inspired players to take precautions on baseball groupies. Some kept doing it but many stopped as they didn't want to meet the same fate as the White Sox Supergroupie.

It's just a game. It isn't life or death.