Day Trip - Cloyd
//////////////
TheProse.com Note: I wanted to put this as a second submission to the Zombie Apocalypse Diary (World Record) Challenge but I guess the online tool only allows 1 entry per challenge. So I'm going to put this in a 'non-portal' for now - maybe we can get that specific challenge modified to allow for more than 1 entry per author - I planned on doing at least 3 story-lines from 3 different perspectives.
//////////////
Not sure why I'm writing this, maybe cause it's like a confession no a catharde/something or a closure, nah that's kinda pansy more like a score card. Yeah HAH that's it, a damn score card...
I'm about 220 miles into my 850-ish mile trip to Albuquerque, stopping to have some BK, at least they're still open. Everyone is acting a little jittery but still selling cut-rate burgers. I guess the full news hasn't made it through the whole country yet. I should get in town at a perfect time, right in the middle of the afternoon.
He should be home.
//---//
At a rest-stop now about 450 miles to go. I'm going to jot these bits down when I stop to stretch or whatnot I guess.
When I was about 16 I sorta hoped this may happen one day but hell I never thought it would. It's been over 30 years since I've seen him but now is seems like a perfect time for a visit.
My wife died 15 years back of breast cancer, God rest her soul, so I'm alone now. And my mother died about 10 years ago I think, not sure, lost track of them like I say almost 30 years ago. So that means he's alone too or so I figure, I mean other than my mom who'd have him?
//--//
250 miles left now. I'm just outside Amarillo in a place called Vega I think. I'm starting to see alot of abandoned cars now and people on the side of the road fighting or yelling at each other or some such nonsense, I don't know, don't care really.
I'm just off to see my step father, he should be about 60something now I guess. He was young when he shacked up with my mom and me but I think he's got at least 10 years on me or whatever. Let's see my mom is 25 years older than me, and he was about 10-12 years younger than her so yeah that's like 10-ish years. I dunno I'm not a math guy but I think that's correct.
//--//
It says only 55 miles to go on my GPS. I think I'm starting to get as they say cold-feet. As I sit here in my truck my brain is stuck on the idea of "what am I going to say to him, what do I *have* material-wise to say to him?" After all these years I just don't know.
I’ve hated him pretty much my whole life. I tried to make him care about me, he didn't, I tried to see if he'd love me, he didn't, hell I just wanted him to be proud of me or respect me, but he never did.
He was just an asshole for an asshole's sake. He complained about everything, including me, nobody ever did anything right, including me, and he had no friends, big surprise there, or I should say the people he considered as friends didn't like him. He didn't talk much but when he did you could bet your granny's chompers it was going to be something negative about somebody or something.
Did he abuse my mom, no, did he abuse me, not really. He just yelled alot, loved putting people down, and I truly believe got a pretty big jazzy just making fun of me all the time, never in front of my mom of course, not that she'd a done anything.
So why do I care after 30 years? I mean I'm almost 50 myself... I dunno, I'm going to get back to driving.
//--//
I'm in my parent's neighborhood now or so says the map tracker. I've obviously never been here.
It is about 3:30pm according to my watch. It’s actually a nice day weather-wise. There is nothing but static on the radio now. The neighborhood is okay looking, definitely lower-middle or upper-lower class, so he never did any better than me anyway even after all his posturing when I was a kid telling me I’d never amount to anything. It looks like the power is out only because everyone has all their house windows open, or at least that I can see. There are alot less people outside than I expected.
Oddly enough I do think it maybe is a zombie type thing like on those stupid TV shows because I swear I saw a few bodies on the road and they were sorta moving. These were pieces of bodies, like the upper halves and whatnot so not like a wounded person but like a dead one that doesn't know it's dead or something. I didn't stop, it's none of my business.
I guess I'm going to do this and see if he's home.
//--//
So I'm about 3 doors down from what the map tracker says is my parent's home. I'm not sure I can talk to him.
Since I've been about 18 or so I've done everything I could counter to him. My life is sort of an opposite of his. He works with his hands, I work in an office. When he liked the Pittsburgh Steelers I said I liked the Dallas Cowboys, when he liked cars I said I liked boats, when he liked Chicken Fried Steak I said I liked Pennsylvania Dutch Sauerkraut, which in reality I actually hate and I’m not sure what the connection was there but I do remember saying it...
I know this probably all sounds stupid to anyone who may read this but my entire childhood was hour by hour living in fear of his disapproval. I knew before I started anything that it was going to be wrong, and later, because I was a dumb kid, just to spite him I caused myself to fail. It was like one of those self-fulfilling destiny things you see on those late night psychology shows. You prophesize you are going to fail, you cause yourself to fail, then you get pissed when you really do fail and get hammered on for it.
I dunno, I'm over-thinking it. The point is that I've hated this guy my whole life and for right or wrong I've blamed most of my personal issues on his shitty negative way.
Whatever, I'm going to do this.
//--//
I did it! I didn't think I could but I did, and after all these years too.
By the time I walked to the front door I noticed that there was a burning car down the road, an actual flipped over ambulance and a whole mob of folks in one of the neighbor's yards. There was alot of yelling and pushing so I dunno if they were fighting or whatever, doesn't matter. I just knew that this was the perfect day to see him.
While waiting at the door before I rang the doorbell I thought he may be around back. He loved to grill out so I thought, I dunno.
When I went around the side of the house I stopped cause I saw him bent over cleaning up something. He had a garbage bag and was wearing one of those full front kitchen bib things. He'd gotten so thin, he used to be very muscular. He'd also lost most of his hair, HA! I still have mine. He looked frailer than I thought he'd be.
So I cleared my throat and walked right up to him. "Bill" I said nice and clear.
He bent back up slowly, turned and saw me. For a split second I had some dread he wouldn't recognize me but he did, I saw it in his eyes. Not an expression of happy surprise but of disappointment or disapproval or something negative for sure.
We only stood there for about 3 seconds before his expression changed to a mask of knowing the real reason of why I was there, and I relished it.
I raised my .44 lickity-split and shot him point blank in the left eye.
Instantaneous relief, like down to my soul kinda relief, as if all of life’s burdens were lifted. Just thinking about it now I shiver, like a deep arched-back arms-up-tall stretch kinda thing.
Best part, he didn't say a word, exactly what I wanted, and on a day when nobody is even going to notice.
I've never felt this calm in my whole life. Serene I think it’s called.
It may be the end of the world in some sort of zombie apocalypse or what-have-you but in an odd way this is the day I've been waiting for and never thought was possible.
I don't know if I'm going to write anymore. I'm going to head home to Louisiana now.
// Cloyd "Butch" Wendell //